


serving looks

by sugakun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Model Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, main focus is oikawa, oikawa tears his acl, pro meaning top university program, the ships will help to drive the plot!!, what will happen next??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-06-25 15:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugakun/pseuds/sugakun
Summary: “are you my doctor, iwa-chan?”after tearing his acl, oikawa tooru decides to model as a way to pass the long recovery period. but what will he do when he's forced to choose between a new passion and the sport that owns his heart?inspired from art by @babypears.





	1. the great king of recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, and thank you for giving my first fanfic a read! i'm super new to ao3 and writing things like this, but it means a lot that you made it here! please let me know how you like the first chapter or if you have any commentary! i'm always looking to improve.
> 
> EDIT: i was kindly reminded that healthcare is accessible and covered for everyone in japan, so i had to modify the story to make it work. hopefully it still turns out to everyone's liking!!
> 
>  **timeline:** friday, june 22nd, one day after surgery

“Are you my doctor, Iwa-chan?”

“Say something like that again, and you’ll wish that I was.”

Oikawa can’t help but fall silent to Iwaizumi’s threat. Truthfully, in this moment, he really did wish his best friend was his doctor (he was a few years away from it)—a doctor that could make his recovery happen faster than six months. But, like everything else in the world, good things take time. And with time comes patience. Patience that Oikawa doesn’t have.

Elbows rested on the table separating the two former teammates, and Oikawa’s chin fell into the palms of his hands as he let that moment replay for what must have been the millionth time, his eyes now closed. He couldn’t stop thinking about it since then. It was 23-24, with his team taking the lead, and Oikawa was up at the net in position to set the ball for the wing spiker. The ball was off, he made a break for it, jumped at what he saw was the right time… but landed in the absolute worst position.

“Remember our third year, when we lost to Karasuno?” Oikawa asks. “Here I thought those chairs were unforgiving!”

“How could I forget? You wouldn’t stop complaining about the bruises you got for _weeks._ Just remembering that makes my ears hurt.”

Oikawa’s back started to hurt at the thought of that, too. Not nearly as much as his knee had, though. The pain was the result of an awkward angle, a sudden twist, and a resonating _pop._ The fact that it had been in his weaker knee made it much worse—an injury on top of an injury.

Fortunately, the doctor was able to see him as soon as possible, a perk of living in Miyagi. The surgery was quick and painless, but what wasn’t painless was everything that came afterwards. Oikawa remembers waking up heavily in the hospital’s recovery room, barely able to make out the words coming out of the doctor’s mouth.

_“It’ll take about two to six months for your knee to return to its full function. Take it easy until then. We’ll be seeing you soon to discuss recovery and physical therapy.”_

A heavy sigh is released from his lips as he meets Iwaizumi’s gaze once more. His friend’s eyes are serious, but he knows that they’re soft with worry, too. It’s something he’s grown to recognize over the years of their friendship. Oikawa doesn’t like seeing him like this—it was more unsettling than the times he threatened to put a sock in it (as in, Iwaizumi literally about to stick a sock into his mouth).

“The recovery is crucial, Oikawa. Don’t half-ass it, or you’ll end up regretting it down the line.” Iwaizumi says in that threatening tone he always uses when he’s concerned.

“Two to six _months_ , Iwa-chan. You know how much that’s going to throw me out of my game?” Oikawa complains. He eyes the pair of crutches leaning against the wall next to them, but only for a second. They were a painful reminder of everything he should and shouldn’t have done.

“You can sacrifice a few months of volleyball for that knee of yours to heal. It’s better than making things worse and _never_ being able to play again. So don’t try and find a way around this.”

“Here I thought you were my best friend. My childhood partner-in-volleyballs, always prepared to make me feel better.” Oikawa interlocks his fingers and brings them up to his cheek with a _please-don’t-punch-me-in-the-face_ look in his eyes and pout taking shape on his lips. “This is not making me feel better, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi looks about ready to send him to Pluto. Oikawa drops the façade, as much as he would love to be on the demoted planet himself.

“I’m just kidding! I know, I know. I gotta take it easy, do physical therapy, don’t play volleyball. PT won’t be for a few weeks, so… what to do to make the time pass? That’s the question.”

“We’ve been brainstorming for hours now, Oikawa, and we’ve both got nothing. At least, nothing that you’re willing to do or that wouldn’t potentially put too much stress on your knee. Why don’t we just sleep on it and come back at it another time? I need to get back to Tokyo soon.”

It’s true. Time has never passed more quickly or slowly than it had in the last couple of hours, but in that span, neither Oikawa nor Iwaizumi’s feelings or worries had changed even a little bit. They were back to where they started, the only things having changed are the near emptiness of their tea and coffee. (Iwaizumi had a late night last night, studying for an important biochemistry exam after Oikawa was allowed to leave the hospital.)

He mulls on the idea and gives in. His brain can’t take another two seconds of getting nowhere, so he chugs down the rest of his tea, which signals to Iwaizumi to help Oikawa retrieve his crutches. When they’re in his hands, Oikawa uses the back of the chair to lift himself up, and he shifts the weight of his body onto the crutches.

Oikawa signals for them to take their leave with a simple head motion toward the door. The biggest sigh of relief escapes Iwaizumi’s lungs. “Finally.”

\-----

“Hey, babe, I’m home.”

“Welcome back! How was meeting up with Iwa-chan?”

Oikawa was met with that smile he loved so much from the person he loved so much. He carefully kicks one shoe off, and Sugawara comes over to help him with the other. Oikawa sighs heavily.

“Not good, it seems?” Sugawara assumes, a soft but concerned expression shaping his eyebrows.

“No, no, it was fine. It’s always good to see him,” Oikawa responds as the couple starts making their way over to their sofa, the resonating _thuds_ of the crutches hitting against the wooden floor following them the whole journey there.

“What’s wrong, then?” Suga asks once they sit down together, a paler hand intertwining with Oikawa’s own when they’re free of their grip on the crutches. Their fingers are now locked in their promise. _It’s safe here._

Oikawa was reminded of everything wrong when he felt the pressure and pain leave his right knee. It had hurt the entire trip back from the coffee shop, despite Iwaizumi’s assistance. His constant bickering didn’t help, either, with his endless repeats of _‘Don’t put pressure on it!’_ and _‘I’m going to leave you right here if you don’t lean on those enough.’_

“I won’t be able to play volleyball for the next few months, Koushi.”

With every action came a price, and Oikawa really had to pay the price now. Would his coach still let him play once he was recovered? Would his teammates still want him to set to them by then? Suddenly, all of the incredible moments throughout his college volleyball career thus far come flooding into his memory. He didn’t want to miss hearing _Nice receive!_ or _Nice kill, Tooru! Nice serve!_ He didn’t want to lose his importance on the team.

He didn’t want to not be needed anymore.

Tooru is lost in his train of overthinking. The train has lost course, fallen off the tracks, and—

Sugawara seems to catch on instantly, because now he’s wearing that look that constantly causes Oikawa’s metaphorical walls to crash down. Suga brings his palm up to his partner’s cheek, cupping it ever-so gently, and Oikawa sees how his eyes are overwhelmingly concerned in an attempt to soothe his worries.

“You know volleyball is my life—right after you, of course,” Oikawa reassures, angling his head so he could press a gentle kiss to Suga’s palm before taking his hand into his own.

“Thank you.” Suga responds with a smile. “But I understand where you’re coming from. Not being able to do the things you love because of something you don’t have power over…” And Suga is reminded of his third year at Karasuno, how it was out of his power that a prodigy setter joined the volleyball team.

“Don’t give me any of that, Kou-chan. Tobio is…” Oikawa seethes just a little bit but manages to let it go soon after. This is Koushi’s ex-teammate who he cared dearly for, looked out for during intense matches. He couldn’t let his past rivalry with Kageyama interfere with their moment. “ _Tobio,_ ” he manages to get out. “But you’re you. You’re Sugawara Koushi! Mr. Refreshing! The Indomitable Setter!” Every name he gives to his boyfriend is met with an excited punch in the air.

Sugawara laughs, and Oikawa knows it’s because he was trying _very_ hard to hold back his rivalry with Tobio. “You’re silly, Tooru.”

Oikawa gives a smile, but it’s brief. He’s soon returning back to his regrets, as noted by the saddened look in his eyes and the frown upon his lips.

“But… I did have power over it. I didn’t have to make that _stupid_ jump. I didn’t have to make that _stupid_ spike, and I didn’t have to land on my _stupid_ knee like that. We wouldn’t have to be here right now, not even able to take _stupid_ steps normally.”

“That’s a lot of stupid’s for things that aren’t stupid at all.”

That momentarily snaps Oikawa out from his frustration, and he’s met with Suga’s gentle smile.

“You’re Oikawa, the Great King!” Suga exclaims. “Nothing that drives you to success is stupid, Tooru. And I’m sure the only thing you were thinking of when you made that set was success. I’ve always admired that about you, you know. The drive to achieve your goals. The passion to do the things you love to their fullest.”

“Aww, Kou-chan, you’re making me blush, nicknames and all. Please, please, tell me more.” It was incredible how his boyfriend always managed to cheer him up when said cheering up seemed impossible.

“Mmm, nope! Any more air and your head will explode,” Sugawara refuses, sticking his tongue out with a smile to accompany the response.

“And Great King? Never thought Chibi-chan would catch onto you so much. Do you miss him already?” Oikawa asks, suddenly reminded of all the times that mandarin-orange ball of energy poked his head out from around the corner or behind any volleyball net.

“Is that not a normal thing with former teammates? It kinda happens when you graduate high school, Tou-chan. You don’t get to see your old volleyball friends as much. And _don’t_ even get me started on the nicknames. _You_ started that.”

“Fair point. But I guess I am pretty lucky to get to see Iwa-chan so much. It’s not easy meeting up with your childhood best friend who was your teammate who turned into my rival, though! What if someone from his team saw us hanging out and started thinking I was a spy?”

“Nobody would think that,” Suga insists. “Anyway… We’ll figure something out to make this better, Tooru. I just don’t want you to beat yourself up over something else that _could_ or _should_ have happened. Because it _has_ happened already. And now we’re going to find a way to help the recovery go by faster.”

Sugawara presses a gentle kiss to Oikawa’s forehead, and Oikawa feels a gentle blush starting to bloom in his cheeks. “Okay?” Suga asks.

Oikawa is flustered, to say the least. But the smile he gives is genuine and thankful. “Okay.”

The weight has been lifted off of Oikawa’s mind just enough, to which Suga responds with another smile of his own. “Were you able to come up with any ideas with Iwaizumi?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Oikawa replies with a heavy sigh. “I suggested that he should graduate and go to medical school next year that uses wizarding practices, but—” He puts on his best Iwaizumi impression: eyebrows narrowed inward, teeth gritted, angry eyes, and a deepened voice. “— _‘You’ll wish I was your wizard doctor right now if you say that again.’_ ” His expression returns to normal. “Or, y’know, something along the lines of that. I think he took that as me not realizing how difficult it is to get into medical school and how hard his classes are. And how it’s very much impossible to cure things instantly.”

“I’m sure you’d say something similar if he told you to rush graduation to get to PT school. Kinesiology is not an easy major, either,” Sugawara states.

“I should’ve just studied astronomy instead. Look at the stars. I didn’t memorize the constellations just to win your heart over, you know, babe.”

“Which was _not_ the reason why, by the way. I don’t know why you keep on thinking that that was why.”

Oikawa is taken aback, and his expression equally just as much. “Wait, so what was the reason why?”

Sugawara suddenly has a smile that makes Oikawa nervous. He’s seen Suga’s mischievous smiles, his flirtatious ones. But this one was almost a mix of both, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that. (He did, by the way. He really liked it.)

“It’s just those really good looks of yours, baby.” There’s a head-over-heels type of expression across his boyfriend’s features. “I can’t mistake those brown eyes or that brown mop of hair for anyone else,” Sugawara answers, with a tone that was… sarcastic? But in a serious-sarcastic way? It was cute, though.

“Wow. A brown mop. No wonder why Iwa-chan calls me _Shitty_ kawa,” says Oikawa. He’s amused despite being slightly offended.

“Seriously, though. Tou-chan, you should put those good looks to use.”

“What are you getting at here, Kou-chan?”

“You know my mom and dad run a modeling company, right? They do shows and photoshoots and all that stuff.”

Oikawa nods his head. Koushi’s parents were the owners of a renowned company called Miyagi Modeling. His mom graduated with a major in fashion design and his dad in fashion merchandising and a minor in photography—a truly dynamic duo, those two. Their ability to serve looks could even surpass Oikawa’s own ability to serve volleyballs, and _that_ was really saying something.

“I could see if they’d be willing to take you in for an internship, or something like that? Maybe you could help them out?” Sugawara suggests.

“Are you saying… I should be a model?”

Sugawara smiles that wide smile again as he nods in approval.

Oikawa hadn’t thought of it. Sure, his appearance had been known to attract the attention of many girls back at Aoba Johsai, but… on a professional level? Was he anywhere close to that? Plus…

“I don’t know if I could do the fashion shows, though,” Oikawa says. “Doctor said I need to avoid putting too much strain on my knee to avoid making things worse. And… all your parents’ shows have catwalks. Cat plus walk equals me and pain.”

“Now _that_ is some bad math, Tou-chan. But I can talk to them and see how they can accommodate the job for you? I’ve helped out with their photoshoots before, and they have their models sit down pretty often, too. We’d have to see about the fashion shows, but… we can figure it out along the way.”

There was finally a glimmer of hope down this dark and seemingly endless tunnel. Oikawa was at a loss for words, at a loss for how thankful and blessed he was to have Koushi in his life. Instead of putting an effort into forming sentences that wouldn’t do justice, he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. Gentle, but full of love and emotion and complete adoration for him. When Oikawa pulls away, Suga is chasing after his lips, and he can’t help but chuckle quietly.

“Mm? What is it?” Suga asks in a whisper.

“Nothing, Kou-chan. I’m just thinking about how that beauty mark of yours really speaks for itself.”

Maybe things would be alright, after all.


	2. your mess is mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa's modeling interview is scheduled for the next morning, and he's nothing but a bundle of nerves throughout the entire day before. even with iwaizumi and sugawara's support, things don't seem like they'll get better anytime soon. later on, oikawa has to change his bandages for the first time.
> 
>  **timeline:** saturday, june 23rd, 2 days after surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there are brief mentions of blood and wound discharge. please read at your discretion.
> 
> hello again, and thank you for checking out this second chapter of my fic!! i ended up getting way more into it than i thought because it's even longer than the first chapter hehe. but i hope you don't mind!! enjoy, and feel free to let me know what your thoughts are!!
> 
> i also did as much research as possible on acl surgery recoveries as i don't have any personal experience. my knowledge is limited to how the surgery wound looks when it finally turns into a scar, which won't be for a while for oikawa. so if anything i've written is inaccurate, please leave corrections in the comments!! thanks!!

“What do you think about this one, babe?”

“I think that my parents are gonna love you with either of those ten outfits you’ve picked out, Tou-chan.”

Ten is an underestimate, though. Oikawa’s side of the bed was now littered in piles of clothes—shirts, pants, jackets, even clothes he completely forgot he had. He blames it on the invisible hand of the fashion world; there was no way he could ever be caught in public wearing things that were out of style.

“I have to make a good impression on them, Kou-chan. Otherwise they might not hire me. Take me as their intern, whatever they want me to do for them.”

Oikawa’s inner panic isn’t doing anything to help his indecisiveness. His eyes are switching back and forth between this jacket and those pants, that shirt with those shorts, but still nothing. Nothing that speaks model-worthy. He’s never even modeled before, why does he think he knows what will look best?

Sugawara catches on immediately, his lips starting to shift into a frown. Years of their relationship have allowed him to pick up on Tooru’s nervous habits: eyes unable to focus on one thing for too long, fingers tugging at his hair as if he’s purposefully trying to pull them out.

“Tooru,” he says gently, softly, in the way that always brought Oikawa back to earth.

A few seconds pass before Oikawa pauses at the mention of his name, his gaze now slowly shifting toward Suga. He’s hesitant because he knows Suga has read the cues, and he hates making Suga worry over something he feels he should shoulder alone.

“Don’t be nervous. I promise it’s gonna be alright, okay? You know my parents already love you,” Suga continues, making his way over to where Oikawa is sitting down in front of their bed. Pale arms loop around broad shoulders—Sugawara confessed that they were his favorite part of Oikawa many, many nights ago—and bring the bundle of nerves in front of him closer to his chest.

“I do, and I’m really thankful that they do. But… these are employers I’m trying to impress. Employers who just so happen to be your parents. It’s different,” Tooru replies. It’s different because it’s professional. Because he has to make himself look like he can handle the stress of modeling, of meeting demands, of fulfilling deadlines.

Sometimes, confidence really is a double-edged mask. The side that he shows the whole world is constantly wearing a smile, feigning pride where it matters most. It’s the face others know him by—the face that Oikawa Tooru wants to be. But what others don’t know is the side that’s wavering with doubt, lingering with insecurity in his own abilities.

Behind the mask is who Oikawa really is.

Koushi sees through it, though. He sees past the feigned confidence and pride. He isn’t blinded by the side of Oikawa that seeks to charm and impress.

Tooru is suddenly silenced with a tender press of Suga’s lips to his own, and he can’t help but melt into the softness of his surroundings. His attention finally leaves the clothes scattered all over the blankets and to the warmth of his boyfriend’s arms around him and lips on his skin. Keeping him safe. Protecting him. Slowly, but surely taking off that mask Oikawa wears so often.

“It is different. At the same time… it’s not as much as you’re making it out to be,” Sugawara says. “Think about the first time you started on the volleyball team here. It’s crazy, it’s competitive, it’s intense—it wasn’t Aoba Johsai at all. But, once you got into the groove of things, it becomes familiar again. You’re surrounded by passionate teammates, just like high school. You’re the best setter on the team, just like before. And I know modeling might not seem anything like volleyball, but… I think it’s the opposite.”

A curious look changes Oikawa’s expression; he’s not quite sure how Suga sees it that way.

“Think about the first time you step onto a court, with opponents you’ve never faced before,” Suga starts to explain. “Sure, you might have observed one of their games the night before, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to play the same way when you face them. There’s always going to be unfamiliarity in your opponents in the first few rallies, right?”

Oikawa immediately thinks about their practice match back during their third years in high school. He could never forget the first time he witnessed Chibi-chan’s monster quick attack. Intense eyes locked on his, even just for a moment; the _swish_ of the volleyball flying past his head, leaving him frozen in time. _That_ was unfamiliarity at its finest.

However, over the course of their face-off during Inter-High, the unfamiliar became familiar. Oikawa and his team were able to pick apart the nit-picky tricks of Karasuno, and that monster quick became something that he knew how to tackle head-on.

“But, after a while, you start to figure things out,” Suga continues. “You see through their tricks and figure out how they work. It’s like that time your team beat us at Inter-High.”

It was almost like Sugawara knew Oikawa was thinking of that exact match in this moment. He should be shocked, but for some reason, he’s amused at the fact that their minds drifted to the same point of the past. Oikawa can’t help the entertained smile that dances across his lips, lightening up his previously tense expression.

“Sometimes, I wonder if your brain and mine are actually connected by some invisible string, Kou-chan,” Oikawa says, the curving of his lips matching the tone of his words.

“Mmm, no. You’re just easy to read,” Suga insists.

“I guess it comes with spending lots of time together, huh?” Oikawa wonders out loud as he carefully turns his chair around to face his boyfriend. Once the front of Suga focuses into his line of sight, he presses his forehead gently against Sugawara’s stomach, arms coming up to wrap around his back.

Suga’s arms bring Oikawa in closer, and he heaves out a sigh mixed with a laugh. “Unfortunately.”

Oikawa suddenly pulls away, an offended look now on his features. “Kou-chan! You really are meaner than Iwa-chan. Your punches are as painful as his, too.”

“I wouldn’t have to punch you so hard if you weren’t such a worry wart, Tou-chan!” Sugawara exclaims, but it’s with good intentions. He really doesn’t mind Tooru’s overthinking side and respects that his partner can express himself as freely as this. It was much better than Oikawa shoving it all into the bottle that was his heart. Oikawa’s heart, that felt better doing things alone. Oikawa’s heart, that really shouldn’t be letting the weight of the world press down on it. Oikawa’s heart, that pumped desire and drive through his veins.

“Meanie,” Oikawa accuses shyly as a gentle kiss is pressed to Suga’s stomach. But he’s smiling at Suga’s response: a tremble and a shaky breath drawn from said area.

“I know, I know,” Suga admits as his hands start to massage around Oikawa’s shoulders. “But I really do mean it when I say it’s going to go great tomorrow. And I’ll be there the whole time.”

Oikawa takes a moment to tilt his head up so he can meet hazel eyes. Suga’s expression is sincere, as are his words. It gives him the boost of confidence that he’s been desperately trying to find in himself.

“Thank you, Kou-chan.”

\-----

“So… modeling, huh?”

“I never would’ve thought of it myself, Iwa-chan.”

“You didn’t, Trashykawa. Your boyfriend did all the thinking for you.”

Even through the video call, Oikawa doesn’t miss the harshness bleeding from Hajime’s scolding.

“Point taken! Anyway, I’m meeting up with Koushi’s parents tomorrow at 10 AM,” Oikawa tells his best friend. “Apparently, they have an early meeting with an important client, otherwise we would’ve done it before. But Kou-chan and I will run some errands in the meantime.”

“Sounds good. You’ll have to let me know how it goes, yeah?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Of course! What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t tell you everything that happened?”

After graduating from Aoba Johsai (it was a very teary day for the two childhood friends), Iwaizumi moved to Tokyo to pursue a biochemistry major and to seek out top medical programs. He had also been graciously offered a position on the university’s volleyball team by its coach who had seen him play on television. Oikawa had remained in Miyagi to pursue kinesiology with the intention of becoming a physical therapist. Similarly, he had also been asked to join the volleyball team here, and happily accepted.

Happily, aside from the fact that it meant he and Iwaizumi had to part ways. But they knew that day would eventually come. Being teammates since junior high is certainly a milestone in their friendship, and a milestone that tasted as sweet as the few seconds a volleyball player could touch the ball for.

“A shitty best friend, Shittykawa.”

The milestone suddenly tastes a little bitter.

“Hey! It hasn’t even been two seconds since you called me Trashykawa, and there you go using Shitty!” Oikawa exclaims, and he’s not hiding back any signs of displeasure.

“Well, Assikawa, do your best tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to text you before, got a practice match tomorrow.”

There’s something about hearing the words “practice match” that bother Oikawa more than it should. Is it the great prospect that getting to play a match like that would be so far out from now, that he can’t even look forward to it anymore? Is it that it was because of _his_ miscalculated reaction that he put himself in this exact position?

Both. Both is bad.

“Yeah… good luck tomorrow,” is all Oikawa can muster, but it’s half-hearted.

And Iwaizumi doesn’t miss it by a heartbeat. “Oi, what’s with that half-assed response?”

 _Damn it._ Iwaizumi knows a weak reply when he hears one.

“I wish I could be the one saying that I have a practice match tomorrow. Instead, I’m saying a modeling interview. Not that that isn’t as exciting, but… it’s not the same. It doesn’t bring you that same rush of adrenaline or nerves that a volleyball match does,” Oikawa explains.

“What makes you think that? Weren’t you just freaking out about what to wear tomorrow in front of Sugawara? That has nerves written all over it,” Hajime responds.

“Yeah, but not the _same_ kind of nerves. It’s not the nerves that are worried about how my first serve is gonna go. It’s the _oh-my-gosh-I’m-gonna-screw-up-this-interview_ type of nerves.”

“Just go into it like you did with those stupid magazine and TV interviews during high school. Be confident, be polite, be your usual Shittykawa self.”

Oikawa sighs as loud as he can to make it as obvious as possible that he’s tired of Hajime calling him that nickname. “I don’t think Koushi’s parents are expecting Shittykawa to be a good model.”

“Okay…” Iwaizumi takes a moment to think, his chin moving to prop itself between his left pointer finger and thumb. “Then, be your usual not-so-Shittykawa self.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan. That’s gonna be a _whole_ lot better.” But Oikawa takes what he can get. “I gotta go. Suga’s almost done with dinner.”

“Alright. Hey, good luck to you, too. Don’t worry so much.” And Iwaizumi ends the call with one of his rare, genuine grins that aren’t his usual forewarnings that a volleyball was about to meet teeth.

Oikawa closes his laptop shut and moves it to the side table, then sinks into the pillows. His mind almost immediately goes back to thoughts about practice matches and matches in general. How he wished he would be waking up at 5:30 AM the next day, getting ready for practice. How he wished he could be changing into his practice clothes and packing up his sports bag for another long morning. And how he wished and wished that his right knee was feeling just the normal amount of fatigue so he could still play, with his usual knee brace instead of bandages and a scar.

His thoughts are interrupted by Sugawara standing in the doorway of their bedroom, accompanied by a gentle smile.

“Dinner’s ready,” Sugawara says, and he starts making his way over to the bed, grabbing Oikawa’s crutches off the wall.

Oikawa returns his smile, but it’s half-hearted again. “Okay. Thanks, baby.”

Sugawara is just like Iwaizumi in the sense that he never missed even the slightest changes in Oikawa’s mood. He suddenly puts the crutches back against the wall and sits on the side of the bed next to his partner. Sugawara catches Oikawa’s attention with a worried look in his eyes, and Oikawa knows he can’t avoid it at this point.

“Something else bothering you?” Suga asks, a hand reaching over to rest carefully below Oikawa’s left knee.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t want you to hear me complain about it again,” Oikawa insists, placing his hand on top of Koushi’s and giving it a squeeze.

Suga is hesitant to make sure with Oikawa sounding so insistent. Would it be worse to leave it be, and let Oikawa deal with it on his own? On his own… No, that wouldn’t be right. The last thing Suga wants is for Tooru to think he’s carrying the mental and physical burden of recovery by himself.

So, he presses on the subject a little more, just to be certain. “You can talk to me, Tooru. You know I’m here for you, every step of the way.”

Oikawa mulls over Suga’s words for a few moments, breaking his gaze with those hazel eyes to look down at the ace bandage covering his right leg. It’s painful to see that it’s more than just the knee that’s covered up for some reason. But what’s more painful is that his knee needs to start all over again: getting reacquainted with moving, regaining muscle memory, and putting it back into work that is so involuntary, he forgot how voluntary it actually was.

It’s weird that he needs to learn how to essentially walk again. Weird that he needs to relearn how to play volleyball on it again, not that that would be anytime soon. Because volleyball is his life—a sport that built its foundation in the core of his heart and muscles and every working part of his body. Years of practice, practice, practice had suddenly gone to naught in the blink of an eye.

“This is just no injury I can walk off like before. A knee brace isn’t enough this time,” Tooru finally admits to Koushi. As much as he hates to say it, he’s been pretty stubborn about everything since the surgery two days ago. “And… I just wish I could play volleyball sooner than later.”

Sugawara nods. “I know, Tou-chan. But think of this as a chance to learn again,” he says. “A chance to realize just how important it is to take care of yourself, because you’re able to perform at your best when you do. I think you’ll realize how much stronger you’ll come out of this once your knee is fully healed.”

Admittedly, Oikawa hadn’t thought of it like that. He could always count on Koushi to take things into a new perspective and shed a positive light on them. Initially, Oikawa had thought starting over was a sign of weakness, an indication that he couldn’t do it right the first time, so there was no way he could do it right the second time. But realizing that he could only grow stronger from here suddenly makes the recovery seem not as burdensome as it he had made it out to be.

The ability to build back up again after he fell was strength in its own way. Strength isn’t always in the form of remaining unbroken, untouchable, or unfazed by life’s obstacles.

Oikawa shows his thanks by bringing Koushi’s fingers up to his lips and leaving soft kisses on the paler knuckles. It’s impossible to hold back a smile as he does so, relishing in the softness of his boyfriend’s skin and how they’re warm against his own skin. His mood has turned for the slightly better, and it’s all because of Suga and Iwaizumi.

“Thank you, Kou-chan. Really, thank you,” Tooru says, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.

“There’s nothing to thank me for, Tooru,” Koushi replies, and the two of them exchange smiles. “Did you have a good chat with Hajime?”

Oikawa nods his head. “Yup! He has a practice match tomorrow, so we weren’t able to call for too long ‘cause he’s meeting up with his teammates in a bit. They’re probably going over their plans of attack and the usual.”

“Sounds good. Perfect timing, too. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving, and I made a lot of food for the both of us,” Sugawara says with a grin.

Oikawa’s expression suddenly perks up in more ways than one. “Ooooh! You always know how to treat me just right, Kou-chan,” he replies, now with a grin equally as wide as Suga’s. “Thanks again, babe. I would help out, but… doctor’s orders.” He gestures to his crutches with a motion of his head in that direction.

“Don’t worry about it. But once you’re able to put more weight on that knee, you owe me,” Suga says. Oikawa’s grin suddenly falls—of course he wouldn’t be able to get away with this without some sort of favor in return.

“I should’ve known you would say something like that,” Oikawa huffs and pouts to go with it. “Fine. Let’s go eat, I’m starving!”

\-----

Oikawa returned to bed after dinner upon Sugawara’s refusal for Oikawa to help him wash dishes. With the doctor’s orders to not shower until the dressing under the bandage wasn’t needed anymore, his nightly routine was cut short. So, with his weight supported entirely by the two crutches under his arms, they guide him back to the bed, then are set back against the wall so he can slide back onto the sheets. He grabs a pillow and tucks it underneath his right foot to keep his knee elevated—another of the doctor’s orders—the pressure now slightly alleviated.

That’s when he notices a stain appearing through the bandage.

He remembers the doctor telling him that the wound could drain with fluid during the first three days following surgery, and that if the dressing becomes stained, he would have to change it.

Oikawa lets out a heavy sigh, seeing that the supplies were on the dresser on the other side of the room. Suga had left them there the day he brought Oikawa home from the hospital. He starts to slide his legs off the bed, but a sharp pain is soon to follow, and Oikawa clenches his teeth in response.

“Tooru, are you okay?” Suga’s voice suddenly appears, and Oikawa is met with a look of worry.

“Yeah, I’m okay. It just hurts a bit,” Oikawa says, reverting back to his initial position on the bed.

Sugawara rushes over to sit down next to him, eyeing his knee and noticing the same thing that Oikawa had. “Your bandage is a little red, Tooru.”

“I think I need to change the dressing underneath. Will you help me grab the supplies on our dresser? I was gonna get it myself, but…”

Suga cuts him off there as he immediately walks over to retrieve the supplies, and when he sits back down on the bed, he reaches in and takes out the extra cotton dressing that the doctor had provided. “This one, right?” Suga says to make sure.

“Yup. The saline solution and washcloth, too. Thank you, Kou-chan,” Oikawa replies.

Suga takes out the remaining supplies and sets them next to Tooru’s leg. “Do you need help changing it?”

“Yeah, if you could just hold onto the dressing while I take the bandage off…” And Oikawa gets down to business.

His fingers start at the thigh where the bandage’s path had ended and begin to unwind it. It takes a few moments until the bandage is completely removed, exposing the gauze tube underneath. He slides that down his knee, further exposing the medical tape holding the incision together. It’s certainly not a sight for sore eyes, but it’s work that needed to be done.

Oikawa then soaks the washcloth in the solution and makes gentle work around the medical tape to clean off the drainage. The sight of red, dried up fluid on his knee is slightly offsetting, and he’s glad it comes off with ease.

Suga is silent throughout the whole process as he observes Oikawa’s handiwork. He seems to be so engaged that he doesn’t hear Oikawa trying to catch his attention the first time.

“—Kou-chan. Kou-chan. Could I have the dressing, please?” Oikawa asks again.

Sugawara is snapped out of his intense focus as he hands the cotton bandages over. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m sorry if it’s a bit too much for you.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just… All of this is kinda crazy.”

“Mmm… yeah, it is,” is all Oikawa can say as he takes off the saturated dressing to replace with the fresh pieces. Once that’s done, he slides the gauze tube back over the cotton and rewraps the bandage around his leg slowly, careful to avoid putting any pressure on his knee.

There’s another pause between the two until Sugawara interrupts it. “It… looks like the tape is holding up well. Hopefully you won’t need the dressing after a few more days.”

“Hopefully. We have another appointment next week, right?”

“Yeah. After our classes, I think.”

Silence drifts into their conversation again. Oikawa looks over at Sugawara, and his expression is indiscernible. It’s a mixture of distracted, shocked, worried, and other things that Oikawa can’t make out.

So, he does the only thing he thinks will help his boyfriend focus on just him again: his fingers find their way to Sugawara’s, and he intertwines them until they’re held together so tightly in fear that the other man would pull away. But they stay locked in their embrace, though the storm of mixed emotions refuses to settle down even the slightest.

“Hey… what’s wrong?” Oikawa asks, his voice soft.

It takes a second for Sugawara to look Oikawa’s way, which makes Oikawa even more worried. Suga was like Oikawa in the sense that they both shouldered all the blame and hurt and fault on themselves. It was a part of them that they were working on together, and they’ve made great progress in the past few years. But sometimes it was still hard, and even harder in moments like this when fragility was worn on their sleeves. In this case, it had been the fragility of Oikawa’s knee, and it seemed like Sugawara was taking blame for that.

“I just wish there was more I could do to help,” Sugawara finally admits. Oikawa’s eyes widen in concern, as he had been afraid that Sugawara would end up experiencing guilt for some part of this process. When Suga cares, he cares with every ounce of his heart and never a single drop less. He cares to the extent that he feels intense empathy when someone is struggling. Because rooted inside that big heart of his is the need to turn the guilt that others are experiencing into his own, hoping, just hoping that those feelings would subside for the other person.

As if shouldering all those emotions would make it better for Oikawa, who knows Sugawara has been trying to take away the sadness for him. It’s in those gentle smiles, that soft voice, those truthful words. It’s getting to be more than Oikawa can take, and all he can do is waste no time in setting the supplies aside and wrapping his arms as tightly as he can around Koushi.

Suga is baffled, to say the least. But he doesn’t have a chance to say anything as his boyfriend almost crushes him against his chest, toned arms finding every way they can to make their space inescapable.

“Please don’t say that when you’ve already done so much for me, Koushi,” Oikawa pleads quietly. It’s not like him at all to speak with such desperation in his voice, but he can’t stop it from bleeding into every word his heart wants to release. His chest feels like it wants to explode.

“You’ve done so much, and I want you to believe that now if you haven’t before,” he continues, burying his face into the crook of Suga’s neck. “Because it’s true. It’s true, Koushi. I come home every day, looking this pathetic, but you don’t care. You don’t care that I can barely even walk past the front door. You don’t care that I can’t do anything to help around the apartment because I need to rest. And at the same time, you care about me. You care about me enough to help me change the bandages, walk distances that I could just do myself, and talk me through those knee exercises. You care so much that it hurts to see you like this, so _please,_ Koushi. Please don’t think you haven’t done enough to help, because that isn’t true. You have… more than enough, you have.”

A shaky breath is taken in, and Oikawa can feel Suga do the same, his shoulders rising and falling with the inhale and release. Neither of them says anything, instead taking the silence to listen to each other’s breathing. It’s oddly comforting, so Oikawa basks in the softness of the moment. Perhaps this was something they both ended up needing without realizing it beforehand.

Oikawa doesn’t expect Suga’s fingers to suddenly entwine with his hair, arms now pressed into Oikawa’s back. He takes it as a sign that Sugawara has calmed down from the turmoil caused by his emotions and decides that this is his chance to lean back and look at hazel eyes.

Hazel eyes that were rimmed with tears.

“Hey…” Oikawa takes Suga’s cheeks into his hands so he can brush his thumbs along the tears that were starting to fall. That seems to be the trigger for Suga to start breaking down with sad laughter. Oikawa gives him time to let his emotions come flowing out and reassures this with a kiss to his forehead.

Minutes filled with gentle hushes and occasional hiccups pass by until Sugawara calms down. Even then, Oikawa doesn’t pressure him. This was their space to say everything and nothing, after all.

However, Sugawara manages a smile. It’s small, but Oikawa can see that it’s genuine. Relieved.

He returns the smile with one equally as small and genuine.

“Thank you, Tooru.”

“We’ve been saying that a lot today, haven’t we?” Oikawa points out. Suga lets out a light laugh at that.

“Of course,” Oikawa finishes. “That’s what I’m here for.”

Sugawara lets out a sigh as he wraps his hand around Oikawa’s, giving it a firm squeeze. “Wow, I’m really tired now,” he says with a low chuckle.

“Emotions are exhausting,” Oikawa remarks, and it’s true. They both had been feeling a lot of emotions these past few days, so it was understandable that their release would leave them both exhausted. “And so are errands! Which, we’re still doing before the interview tomorrow?”

“Count on it. Now you owe me _big_ time after reminding me of the lack of chores you’ve done. Not that I ever forgot in the first place, but the fact that you admitted again…”

“Aww, man! I totally thought you’d miss that part,” Oikawa jokes, but he truthfully doesn’t mind. He owed Koushi his entire life at this point.

“Nothing gets past me, Tou-chan.” Suga’s smile widens slightly at that.

“That’s what I love about you, Kou-chan.”

\-----

Oikawa sleeps soundly that night. Those _oh-my-gosh-I’m-gonna-screw-up-this-interview_ nerves wouldn’t be back for a while. At least, until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much oisuga...... so much..... BUT the focus will shift even more to oikawa in the next few chapters!! thanks for your patience!! see you in chapter 3!!!


	3. modeling prodigy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day oikawa has anxiously been waiting for is finally upon him. will the hunt turn into the hunted as he enters the modeling world for the first time?
> 
>  **timeline:** sunday, june 24th, 3 days after surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next update to celebrate oikawa's special day!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE GRAND KING!!! o(*^▽^*)o
> 
> i had a harder time writing this chapter because i wanted to make sure i put enough detail into these characters and in everything oikawa is experiencing, especially his frustration.
> 
> i also included iwaizumi and matsukawa’s backstory in this chapter!! suddenly this has become my fic to gush about rare pairs… i have zero regrets…

“It’s good to see you again, Tooru-kun.”

“Likewise, Masumi-senpai. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Oikawa manages to keep his voice steady despite the abundance of nerves that were threatening to ooze through the cracks in his composure. Attempts at relying on already being acquainted with his boyfriend’s parents and the fact that these were the nicest clothes he’s worn all month did very little to help. _So much for being confident,_ he says to himself. He can’t shake off the feeling that he’d be hearing those same words later from a voice firmer than anyone else’s.

Koushi’s mother isn’t Iwaizumi, most fortunately. She flashes the signature Sugawara grin at him, and it’s no question who Koushi inherited his smile from. It manages to work the same magic, too, because the kindness she shows is familiar, and he knows it’s a sign that he could comfortably be himself. The Sugawara family was never, ever one to judge others, after all. They were never, ever one to judge Oikawa, his knee, or his love for volleyball. The pent-up tension in his shoulders dissipates enough for him to visibly relax and respond to Masumi’s question.

“Since Christmas, I think,” Sugawara’s father interjects before he has a chance. After removing the camera secured around his neck and handing it over to another photographer, he greets Oikawa with a strong handshake and a smile of his own. While it’s not as similar to Koushi’s as his mom’s is, the Sugawara touch is still there.

 _A family with smiles as beautiful as that. No wonder why they own a modeling company_. It’s in moments like these that Oikawa is reminded of how the Sugawara family was undoubtedly blessed with looks as captivating and genuine as their personalities.

“Nori-senpai. You’re as sharp as always.” Oikawa replies along with the release of a light chuckle. “Makes me kinda jealous, really.”

“Nonsense!” Suga’s dad insists. “We’ve seen you play volleyball! You have instincts sharper than a sword when it comes to the court. Speaking of which, how’s the season been?”

Truthfully, in the bustle of recent events, he couldn’t find a moment to spare to wonder about the actual season itself. It _had_ only been a few days since he told his team he was leaving temporarily, so Oikawa couldn’t imagine that things had changed too drastically within that span of time. Regardless, he was thankful there weren’t many chances for his mind to stray to that part of his career. The season would progress without him, after all.

What a funny thought that was. There really were worse things in the world than being benched.

“Pretty good—we’re strong this year,” Oikawa answers with a smile that he hopes Nori and Masumi will believe. Koushi is too distracted catching up with family friends at a photoshoot set off to the side. Otherwise, he would have seen through just how feigned his confidence was without a single second of hesitation.

Not his confidence in his team; there was plenty of that to go around every single member. It was confidence that he would be able to return to that court sooner than it seemed. Confidence that upon his return, he would get back to playing just like he had before the surgery in no time. Maybe even better. But as the hours passed and the distance between him and the team grew, it was getting more difficult to maintain that vision.

The strings connecting the scattered pieces of his hope, once tightly knit ropes, were becoming mere threads. The more he thought about volleyball, the thinner they became. Oikawa had never felt a fragility quite like that before.

_It hurts._

But he forces down the aching for now, well aware that it would come back for its revenge later.

His smile proves to be enough when Nori-senpai’s own grows even wider than Oikawa thought was possible. “You boys get stronger every year!” he says excitedly. “And you’ll all be even better once that knee of yours is back in action. How long did the doctor say it would take?”

“Two to six months,” Oikawa replies. “It could be longer because of how my knee was before, but if everything goes well, I’m hoping it won’t be.” Oikawa wasn’t sure if he could take it for longer than six months. That was already an entire season of volleyball out the window.

“Then we’ll make sure to keep you busy for these next few months,” Sugawara’s mom says, and it almost sounds like a guarantee. A promise. “Koushi told us the basics of everything: what we can and can’t do, what you can and can’t do—so we’ll do our best to accommodate you. But when you’re able to walk on your own, we would like you to participate in our shows.”

Nori-senpai nods in agreement. “Fashion shows are one of our most important ways to keep connections with our business partners and clients. People from all over Miyagi and even Tokyo come to them. The more models we have, the more options they have, and the more likely they will be to ask for our models in the future.”

 _Model._ It sounds like Suga’s parents already see one in their eyes when they look at Oikawa, with the way they were explaining the operations of their company so freely. But picturing himself in that position is still difficult because Sugawara’s mom and dad know _exactly_ what they were doing.

Oikawa has absolutely _no_ idea what he is doing.

“That’s why—” a voice suddenly comes up from behind him. “—Tooru is going to work really hard to be the best model he can be.”

Oikawa _swears_ that Sugawara has a sixth sense tuned into his thoughts and emotions. He nearly jolts at how unexpected his presence is.

“Koushi, you scared me!” Oikawa says with widened eyes and a hand over his chest to emphasize how surprised he is, heaving out a sigh to express his initial shock.

“Until he can walk, promise me you won’t push him too hard,” Suga directs at his parents with a watchful glare. “Otherwise we’ll never hear the end of it from his orthopedist, and I’m already going through that with Tooru every second.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow at that. Is Suga trying to push his buttons on purpose? He would never forgive the other man for this.

However, things don’t feel quite right to him. Oikawa has only been here for a little over an hour, but the fact that Sugawara’s parents are organizing some kind of schedule for him, _right in front of him,_ and that Sugawara himself was promising them that Oikawa was prepared to put in his full effort really makes it seem as though…

“It sounds like you both have already hired me.”

Nori, Masumi, and Koushi all fall quiet, and Oikawa realizes that he’s an idiot. How in the world are they going to respond to a question like that? Would Suga’s father laugh it off and ask if Oikawa was kidding around? Would Masumi stare him down with her hazel eyes that somehow feel intimidating right now? How much did Sugawara mention this to them behind his back? Oikawa gives his boyfriend a suspicious glare, purposefully relaying the _You betrayed me_ message to him.

Just when the anticipation starts to hammer at his chest, he finally receives their reactions. They aren’t what Oikawa predicted at all, though: Sugawara’s mom tilts her head with a confused look on her face; the corners of his dad’s mouth stretch into a grin that Oikawa thinks must hurt to keep up with how long they’ve already had to work.

“We know you look after our son all the time, so this is the least we can do for you,” Masumi-senpai says with no hint of a sugar coat over those words. “Plus, we both see great potential in you, Tooru-kun.”

Oikawa doesn’t understand. He really doesn’t, and he tries not to show it on his face. But it was evident in the way his eyes start looking at the floor instead. He went into this thinking that Koushi’s mom and dad would completely drop their parental instincts and hone into professional mode, treating Oikawa as if he were a total stranger. He expected them to go on the hunt and pick apart his brain, trying to find out if there was some ulterior motive for doing this.

This was their terrain: a den for the lion and the lioness and their cub. And Oikawa was the prey, intruding into their territory in hopes that he would find food for himself, or in this case, the chance to prove that he could become a model of their expectations. But so far, neither of Suga’s parents had asked anything in which Oikawa would’ve had to explain his reasons for deciding to model when he had a name for himself in volleyball. Why would a star athlete want anything to do with looking a little more put together than usual?

“You came all the way over here to meet with us, even when those crutches aren’t easy to use,” Masumi continues. “You easily could’ve asked us to come over to your apartment. Instead, you were willing to set that aside and seek us out. I think that decision itself says a lot about how much you want to dedicate yourself to our profession.”

“I agree,” Nori joins in. “And it’s not every day we have someone who just went through surgery wanting to work for us. Tell me, Tooru, have you ever seen a photo of a model wearing bandages around their knee? Or a knee brace?”

Oikawa can’t recall such a sight and shakes his head. It was true: most of the photographs of models he’s seen in his life don’t have braces or bandages keeping their knee together. Even the pictures of him used in past volleyball magazines focused on the upper half of his body, never exposing the white knee brace he always kept on when he played.

“I would have assumed that modeling companies don’t like how those look on their models…” Oikawa admits a bit sheepishly, refusing to look up as he does.

“I understand where you’re coming from. But modeling isn’t just about how something looks on someone, or how that someone looks themselves,” Nori-senpai adds on, and Oikawa reverts his attention back to the older man. A relaxed expression has replaced his previously intrigued one. “It’s also about _what_ the model themselves wants to show to the public eye. It could be in the way they pose, in the clothes they choose to wear, or they makeup they want to put on.”

Nori-senpai’s body language now changes to something intensely more serious. Maybe it’s in the way his facial features wear a more mischievous look or how his eyes narrow to fixate on Oikawa. They’re subtle changes, easy to miss if one doesn’t know a single detail about Koushi’s parents. But Oikawa doesn’t let a single one pass by. He’s afraid the sudden air of pride surrounding Sugawara’s father will knock him down, so he listens.

“It’s self-expression that makes this industry what it is,” he continues. “The ability to share what _you_ want to share is more powerful than others might think. That’s what makes every model unique—because they interpret the world a little bit more differently than the next and are able to express that in their own way that’s a little more different than another. All of these small differences accumulate and come together to paint a truly beautiful picture.”

Suga’s dad starts walking towards him, and Oikawa fears that he’s about to look into his heart through the glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. Maybe they were soul-peering lenses designed by Masumi herself. Her hands may be slender, but those fingers were trained to pick things apart and put them back together by the tiniest details. Instead, a firm grip embraces Oikawa’s left shoulder and gives it a squeeze. Oikawa doesn’t dare to let his guard down even though the gesture is usually an indication that there’s nothing to be nervous about. _The calm before the storm,_ he wonders silently.

“How should I put this…? We want you to embrace your injury with us because we don’t want it to hinder how you express yourself, if that makes sense?”

Tooru’s mouth, previously pressed shut in anticipation, drops open slightly. Up until now, he only ever saw his recent injury as a hindrance. That’s all any injury ever was to Oikawa: an obstacle, a hitch in the ride to success, something that only made you weaker. A painful reminder that he would never reach peak condition as an athlete. Knee difficulties have been a part of his life since his third year at Aoba Johsai; their ghosts have lingered since then, and now they were taking up full residence in the form of a healing ACL and wounds from the surgery. But this is the first time anyone has told to _embrace_ it.

 _Because they interpret the world a little bit more differently._ Oikawa repeats Nori’s words to himself over and over until they’re practically engraved in his mind. Because Sugawara’s parents viewed his knee a little bit differently than others, he would now able to start seeing it differently himself.

Oikawa doesn’t feel deserving of this opportunity. He doesn’t deserve Nori and Masumi’s hospitality, their kindness, their patience and readiness to take him under their wings. Knowing that they didn’t mind his inability to walk properly or the bandage wrapped around his leg is more than he can handle.

“Even though I’ve never modeled before… I can’t really believe both of you are saying things like this to me. How do you know I won’t do it all wrong? And your son is the only person who really thinks I look decent enough to model…” Oikawa’s voice has toned down and become hesitant.

Now Suga’s mom is the one walking towards him, and the emotions coming to light in her eyes are delicately soft. It’s a dangerous look to wear in front of Oikawa, because after all these years of dating Koushi, he gets the feeling that the walls around his heart are about to crumble.

“Koushi’s told us about your volleyball experiences, and we can’t miss the passion that you have for the sport. Passionate people are what we want for the company, and you already have that part secured. We’re hopeful that you’ll give us the same level here. That’s why we’re not worried,” she explains. “It’ll give us a change of pace, too. This is our first time taking in a model with an injury, so we’ll learn together.”

Knowing that he wouldn’t be alone in this new venture puts Oikawa at a bit more ease than he was coming into this. Additionally, he’s thankful that their concerns weren’t elevated simply because his range of motion is at a disadvantage. Even if the weakened state of his knee would always be a part of him, maybe this modeling internship would work its way into how he thought about it from here on out and completely turn it around for the better.

Masumi walks over to her son and pulls him into a tight hug, the embrace overflowing with motherly love while her hands ruffle up silver hair. “We have to thank you for taking care of Koushi, too!” she exclaims in her usual, bubbly tone. Her voice is as proud and excited as ever, and Oikawa finds it extremely endearing. Then she pouts playfully, poking at Sugawara’s cheeks to tease him even more. “He never calls us, you know…”

“That’s because neither of you ever pick up your phones!” Sugawara huffs as he’s doing his very best to detach his mother’s arms from around his neck. The attempt fails because she only brings him in closer to her side, refusing to let her son budge from that very spot.

“You always call us when we have a shoot going on, Koushi! Of course we aren’t going to pick up. Why don’t you ever call at night when we’re free?” she asks.

“Because I have class until late and then I need to study. I already have a hard time getting work done with Tooru whining for attention.”

Oh, Sugawara is _definitely_ pressing his buttons on purpose. Nonetheless, he plays along with their familial banter.

“It’s true, I’m really hard to ignore,” Oikawa admits, and Sugawara sticks his tongue out at him. He returns the sentiment briefly before giving his attention back to Nori and Masumi.

“Spoken like a true model!” Nori-senpai says and starts to laugh. Oikawa can’t help the smile that lightens up his face. He’s starting to feel like he belongs here.

\-----

Oikawa does his best to resist passing out when they’re finally back at their apartment. After a long day of errands, meeting new people, and leaning the entire weight of his body on two crutches, fatigue had settled into every muscle. If Sugawara wasn’t by his side, helping him lift one crutch after the other to cross into the living room, he might have done just that.

They make their way over to the couch together. The process still takes some time, but Oikawa notices that it’s not as long as it was the first day he had to use them. When they arrive, he leans the supports against the couch arm and sinks into the cushions. Sugawara plops down next to him, and he takes it as a sign that they can finally get comfortable. So, Oikawa rests his head against his boyfriend’s leaner shoulder, drawing in a deep inhale to get reacquainted with the air around them. It’s sweet and it feels like home. Sugawara must feel the same way, because he follows suit and places the side of his head on top of Oikawa’s, the sensation of his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck tickling his skin.

“So, what did you think?” Koushi asks. “I hope my parents weren’t too difficult to deal with.”

“It was pretty overwhelming,” Oikawa admits. The sight of multiple photoshoot sets, racks of clothes as far as his eyes could make out, and bunches of people crowding around every setup. Not to mention making sure he didn’t embarrass himself in front of Suga’s mother and father—that alone drained majority of his energy. The modeling scene was, not surprisingly, as busy as volleyball tournaments. “I know your parents are basically famous around these parts of Miyagi, but I didn’t think they were _that_ famous.”

Suga laughs, and Oikawa smiles a little. “I wouldn’t say _famous,_ per say. They’ve built up a lot of connections over the years, so there are a lot of people they couldn’t do this without. Models, fashion businesses, designers, makeup artists—they don’t just fall from the sky, you know.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine how much work they’ve put into just keeping their relationships strong with everyone. I guess it’s the same with university volleyball teams, though. Coaches come to watch your games in middle and high school, they ask to interview you, say they heard a lot about you from other really talented players…”

“I’m glad you’re starting to see how modeling and volleyball aren’t so different after all, Tou-chan,” Sugawara says.

The comment surprises Oikawa a bit. It was true: he’s been starting to notice more similarities between the sport and his upcoming profession. Maybe it was because he was trying to find traces of volleyball in other things, to reassure that it was never as far as it seemed. To remind himself that the wait would be worth it, and until then, he would continue to exercise his volleyball mind. To prepare for his comeback in the next few months.

Hopefully.

“Me, too,” Oikawa replies. “Speaking of volleyball, we should call Iwa-chan and Mattsun!” He quickly checks the time on the clock on the wall. “Their practice match ended a while ago, but they should be back at their apartment now. Wanna join us?”

“That sounds good, baby. I need to make dinner, but I can listen in until I’m done.” Suga responds.

Oikawa pulls back from their closeness so he can look at him, study those eyes he adored, and place a hand on his cheek. “Sure thing. Would you grab my laptop for me? Should be in our room.”

“Got it. Give me a sec,” Suga says, parting ways with a kiss on Oikawa’s lips before making his way down the hall.

He’s left in solitude until Sugawara returns from their room a moment later, laptop in hand. Oikawa smiles as he takes it from his hold. “Thank you, you’re the best, babe!”

“I know, I know. Hopefully tonight’s dinner will say the same!” And Suga leaves to start on their meal in the kitchen, leaving Oikawa by himself on the couch once again.

The screen shines back to life and he wastes no time contacting Iwaizumi with a video call. After three rings of the dialing jingle, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa’s faces appear on the screen. It had only been a day since he last saw his childhood friend, but Matsukawa had been caught up with work and school for the past few weeks, so seeing his other former teammate made him burst at the seams.

“Iwa-chan! Mattsun! Good to see your shining and beautiful faces again!” Oikawa greets them with his usual gesture: a peace sign, a wink, and a wide grin.

But as much as Oikawa loves pulling off that look, Iwaizumi _strongly_ feels otherwise, already looking prepared to smack the two fingers from hundreds of miles away.

“Do that again, Shittykawa, and I’ll send you flying through the computer,” Iwaizumi swears. Oikawa knows he’s serious and it makes his heart cling on for dear life, so he loses the peace sign, the wink, and the wide grin.

“Yes, yes. Why is it that it pisses you off, but not Mattsun?” Oikawa wonders.

“Oh, it does. I’ve just gotten used to it and I never feel the need to threaten you like that. That’s what Hajime is for. We both know that he has no patience when it comes to you,” Matsukawa answers. Oikawa’s not sure whether to be offended or relieved.

“Wow. You know what they say about how opposites attract,” Oikawa mutters, hoping that especially Iwaizumi didn’t hear him.

Mattsun and Iwa-chan are the perfect example of the common phrase: the former is usually quiet, but knows how to crack a good joke here and there, and often came off as temperate and patient; the latter was stubborn, firm, and assertive, poking fun at their mutual friend in ways more violent than one. But over the years that the three had been teammates, Oikawa could say for sure that they both had hearts bigger than the world. The endless teasing was their way of how deeply and genuinely they cared for others. As painful as Iwaizumi’s punches and Mattsun’s words could be, Oikawa is thankful for them. He would endure any lasting bruise or witty remark if it meant seeing their faces every day.

“Anyway!” Oikawa interjects before Hajime or Issei had the chance to ask what he had just said. “How was the practice match? Did you guys crush ‘em?”

“Just barely,” Iwaizumi says. “Their ace got through our blocks more times than I would’ve hoped, and I’ve never seen Mattsun so irritated. That really goes to show how frustrating he was to play against.”

Matsukawa suddenly has an expression on his face that twists up his features, as if he’d rather not remember just how frustrating said ace was to play against. Oikawa can’t recall a recent time when his other friend had made such a look. It was certainly a rare emotion for Oikawa and Iwaizumi to get to experience.

“But we managed to break through in the third set! 28-26!” Iwaizumi continues. “I think Issei was about ready to face the other team’s ace head-on when we hit the deuce.”

“Reaaaally? That’s not something I hear every day, Mattsun. Have you ever felt that irritated at another player before?” Oikawa wonders.

“Mandarin orange…” Mattsun suddenly says, the look on his face now even more distraught.

“What’s this I hear about a mandarin orange?” Sugawara calls from behind him, and Oikawa is surprised that he’s able to make that out over the sound of the stove’s fire and the fan blowing.

“I think Mattsun is talking about Chibi-chan.” Oikawa says.

Sugawara laughs. “Seems like Hinata really left his mark on a lot of players.”

The remark certainly applied to Oikawa, as well. It was incredible how Shrimpy managed to change their volleyball careers to such an extent that they would be looking back on his impact years later. _Has it really been that long since our days at Aoba Johsai?_

“That feels like ages ago,” Oikawa admits. “But I’m glad you guys won! Congrats! Your team is really strong, but mine’s gonna crush you the next time we have a practice match.”

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa both grin wickedly, ready for the proposed challenge.

“Get better first, dumbass. Then we’ll see about whose team is better,” Iwaizumi retorts. “How did things go this morning?”

“A lot better than I expected,” Oikawa responds. “Super nerve-wracking, but… I wasn’t expecting Koushi’s parents to take me in right away. No interview, no need to prove that I’m ready… I almost wonder if it’s a trick. But I know they have high expectations for me to work hard.”

“Things like that kinda happen when you’re a prodigy. Apparently, it’s not just with volleyball,” Iwaizumi points out.

Oikawa Tooru, a modeling prodigy? There’s no way he could be. Participating in interviews in front of the camera was one thing, but posing while wearing clothes he could never afford? It was too different. However, with the excitement that Sugawara’s parents had been showing earlier, he mulls over Iwaizumi’s comment for a few seconds. Was that also a reason why they were in such anticipation to take him in? Because they saw him as the next top model in their company? Or is Iwaizumi just saying that so he can beat out the air that that comment would inflate into his head? Actions always spoke better than words to his best friend.

“Iwa-chan, are you actually saying that to help me feel better about this? Thanks!” Oikawa takes his chances with the last possibility that he ran in his head.

And apparently, he’s right on the dot with that because Iwaizumi now looks fully prepared to pounce at his computer, hoping that somehow, his fists would be able to reach Oikawa’s actual arm. He’s just waiting for Oikawa to break the last straw that was his waning patience.

Oikawa tiptoes around that, though, bringing his hands up in apology. “Kidding! I’m definitely no prodigy when it comes to modeling.”

He watches Hajime sigh out of exhaustion from their earlier match and probably from Oikawa’s usual behavior. Both him and Mattsun look worn out to match. It really must have been some game.

“I appreciate the sentiment, though. All I can do is give it my best shot.”

“Don’t worry too much. You’ll be fine, Oikawa,” Mattsun assures. “We’ll have to come and visit you sometime in Miyagi.”

“No, no, that’s alright. I’m sure you’re both super busy with volleyball practice and class. You’ll probably be seeing my face around Tokyo sometime, anyway. I guess Koushi’s parents have connections with companies there.”

“Oh, great,” Iwaizumi replies. “Now we both have to see your face everywhere we go. As if we haven’t already had enough of that.”

Oikawa gasps, obviously exaggerating how hurt he is at Hajime’s comment. “So rude! You both should be thankful that you get to see me in nice clothes! We don’t video call nearly as much as I’d like to,” he whines with a pout. “Plus, you’re both gonna be my fans! You have to tell me how they look around the big city!”

“No, thanks,” Matsukawa declines, and it looks like he’s struggling to hold a smirk back under the serious look he’s trying to hold up.

“You are both. So. Rude!” Oikawa punctuates every word with emphasis and pauses. “Are we really best friends, former teammates, companions for life until volleyball makes us sworn enemies? I didn’t work this hard for you both to be this mean to me!”

“You make it too easy,” Iwaizumi admits, and Matsukawa finally cracks, releasing the laugh he was previously forcing down.

“I’m hurt, Iwa-chan, Mattsun. I’ve treated you both so well and this is how I’m treated in return,” he claims, placing folding his hands together over his heart for the dramatic effect.

“We’re treating you just like you treat us, Trashykawa. We don’t get how you haven’t realized that by now,” Hajime fights back. His arms cross in front of his chest as he shakes his head in disapproval. Issei is shaking his head, too, and Oikawa is tempted to end the call without a warning.

“Now, now, play nice, the three of you,” Sugawara interrupts their teasing and places their meals on the table in front of them, taking his place back on the couch next to Oikawa. The powerful aroma of Suga’s cooking overwhelms his senses, and even more so from the sauce Suga added to his own bowl (Suga had discovered Oikawa’s extremely low spice tolerance in the most inelegant way—it was the sweatiest, most eye-burning time he had ever seen in his life, and lots of milk was lost that day).

“Hey, Suga,” Hajime greets with a calmer smile. Mattsun also smiles and waves at Sugawara.

“Hey, Iwa-chan, Mattsun. I heard your game went well over the fan,” Koushi acknowledges. “That’s great! Will you both be coming back to Miyagi to play Oikawa’s team anytime soon?”

Matsukawa shakes his head for both his and Iwaizumi’s response. “We aren’t scheduled to play against Tohoku for a few weeks,” he says.

“We’ll be sure to let you and Oikawa know when we do, though,” Iwaizumi adds. “Maybe we can meet up after that match?”

Oikawa moves his laptop from his lap to the table and takes a chance to say _Itadakimasu_ for the food while Koushi converses with Issei and Hajime. Then he comes back into the camera’s view once the bowl of food is in his hands. Tonight’s dinner is _donburi_ topped with shrimp tempura, and Oikawa happily munches on the first piece of tempura, the oily flavor of the fried batter flooding his taste buds.

“We’ll probably watch that match, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa admits with a mouth full of food, so his words are a little incoherent. Suga laughs, and Oikawa glances over at him while he is also saying thank you for the food.

“You sure you heard Tooru clearly there, Iwaizumi?” Suga wonders, starting on his dinner, as well.

“Used to it. Food-full-of-mouth Oikawa is as common as regular-talking Oikawa. Both equally as irritating to listen to.”

“Say that again, Iwa-chan. I dare you,” Oikawa dares after swallowing his first bite.

Hajime lets out a hearty chuckle and shakes his head. “Maybe another time, Shittykawa. Issei and I need to start on dinner, too. Call you later?”

“Sounds good to us! It was nice talking to you both tonight,” Suga says with lips curved upward.

“Likewise, Koushi,” Matsukawa adds. “Congrats again on today, Oikawa.”

“Thank you, Mattsun! At least _you’re_ proud of me, unlike Mr. Grouchy over there.”

“You don’t need my validation for everything, Assikawa,” Hajime responds with a frown to match Oikawa’s nickname for him. Matsukawa laughs at Hajime’s snarky comment.

“See you both later!” Suga says and waves goodbye.

“Later, Koushi. Oikawa. Don’t cause anymore trouble for your boyfriend tonight,” Iwaizumi says with a smirk and waves back.

“I won’t!” Oikawa promises, and leans over to reach the mousepad and end the video call.

He closes the laptop screen with a soft _thud,_ then leans back onto the back of the couch and brings another chopstick-full of shrimp into his mouth, chewing noisily on it.

“Have I mentioned how cute they are together?” Suga asks.

“Seriously? Iwa-chan always wants to punch me, and Mattsun may be quieter, but he’s always on his side of the witty banter. They gang up on me and it’s really not fair,” Oikawa complains. “Plus, they’re complete opposites of each other.”

“I think that’s what makes them so adorable,” Suga counters. “I don’t know him as well as Iwa-chan, but it always looks like Iwa-chan brings out a side of Matsukawa that we don’t get to see very often.”

“That’s fair. He talks more and looks a little livelier than usual when they’re together.”

Oikawa remembers every detail from how Iwaizumi and Matsukawa started dating, from Iwaizumi’s realization that he liked Matsukawa more than a friend to his flustered and shy confession, both of which are sides of Iwaizumi that Oikawa almost never saw. His heart still swells even now every time he recalls those milestones in his best friend’s love life. It was two years ago when all of them had just started their university careers. Like Iwaizumi, Matsukawa moved to study at the University of Tokyo and pursue a degree in botany. Many of their classes lined up freshman year, so they had spent an ample amount of time together. And the more hours they shared in each other’s company, the more Iwaizumi’s feelings bloomed for his friend. The rest is history from there, though it had taken Iwaizumi months to muster up the courage to confess.

“Fair point. I’m just glad they’re happy, they are really good for each other,” Oikawa says.

“And I’m really glad you’re still talking to them,” Koushi replies. “I know it’s not easy being this far away from them. Hopefully they’ll be able to come visit us here, maybe catch a fashion show in a few months?”

“Yeah, that would be lots of fun!” He’s hours of work away from that goal, but he’s excited for his two friends to come and see him in an entirely different element. Though he can’t shake off the suspicion that there would be lots of teasing involved. Oikawa knows it would be out of support, though.

Oikawa and Sugawara spend the remainder of their dinner engaged in small talk and in their food, and after thirty minutes pass, their bowls are empty, and their stomachs are full of rice and shrimp.

“Let me help you wash the dishes tonight,” Oikawa suggests.

Sugawara wears shock all over his face. “Whaaat? Did I just hear Oikawa Tooru volunteer himself to do the chores? Sorry, I’m not sure I heard all of that!” he teases and winks.

“Very funny, Kou-chan. I’m serious, though. I don’t want to wait until the crutches aren’t needed anymore to help around the apartment. I can’t do that to you when you’ve helped me out with this whole modeling thing already.” And Oikawa really means it. Things were moving and changing at a rapid pace, but Sugawara has been there for him through every moment of it, keeping it all steady.

Koushi caves in after Oikawa’s insistence, reaching over to help grab their bowls. “Alright. But the moment your knee starts hurting, I’m sending you straight to bed.”

“Yes, Mr. Refreshing,” Oikawa teases and it earns him a soft whack in the arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are getting longer and longer, but i hope you all don't mind! coming up next: a glimpse into oikawa's university life and his first doctor's appointment since the surgery!


	4. don't forget to stretch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa returns to university to catch up with his friends and, unfortunately, schoolwork. after that, he’s scheduled for his first checkup since the acl surgery. will the news be what oikawa wants to here, or will it leave him wondering where he went wrong?
> 
> **timeline:** monday, june 25th, 4 days after surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! here’s another character cameo for ya!
> 
> this kinda turned into a comfort chapter because life at home has been pretty rough and i needed a way to distract myself. what better way to do that than indulging myself with my otp? enjoy the extra oisuga! as always, let me know what your thoughts are in the comments!

“You’re sure you’ll be alright?” Sugawara asks for the fourth time since they left the apartment. Oikawa is keeping a mental count of how many times his boyfriend asks variations of _How are you feeling? Do you need anything?_ and _Does it hurt at all?_

Oikawa is grateful, though, but he doesn’t want Koushi to worry any more than he already has. It’s his first day back on campus since the surgery: he had to skip classes last Thursday for the operation, then spent the entirety of Friday recovering in the hospital room and at home. If there’s anything else he _should_ be more concerned about this Monday morning, it’s how much schoolwork he now needs to catch up on. He would also have to make time to check in with the kinesiology research lab and apologize for not being able to come in for the past few days. Now that he had his modeling internship, too, he would have to work out a schedule to balance those hours with studying and—

“Tooru?” Suga says softly, and Oikawa hadn’t even noticed that he didn’t give the other man an answer.

“Sorry, Kou-chan. Just thinking,” Oikawa finally responds and gives an apologetic smile.

“I could tell. You always have that serious look on your face when you do,” Suga points out and closes his eyes while returning Oikawa’s smile. “It’s not a very good look on you, by the way.”

“Kouuu-chan! That’s not very nice,” he whines and pulls out his ultimate trick: puppy dog eyes and an exaggerated pout formed with his lower lip.

Sugawara has built up an immunity to the trick over the years. Oikawa is stubborn, though, and always takes his chances to wiggle his way into his boyfriend’s heart. Several seconds pass, but the silver-haired man doesn’t break. He can read it all over Suga’s stern expression and crossed arms. So, Oikawa gives up at this attempt and sighs.

“You know that doesn’t work on me anymore, Tou-chan. Try all you want, but your pouting won’t sway me ever again!” Suga boasts proudly, gently pounding his chest with his right hand curled into a fist.

Oikawa smirks, wondering if Sugawara is proposing yet another challenge. He takes his chance: he starts to lean in slowly, like a cat getting ready to pounce. When the handles of his crutches start digging into the spaces under his arms, he doesn’t go any further, now deep in Koushi’s space with his mouth just millimeters away. He feels Koushi’s breath hitch in the space between their lips—it’s warm and inviting and pleading for closure. However, determined to leave Suga wanting more, Oikawa stays rooted in that position and whispers.

“Will this change your mind, Koushi?”

He knows he’s won when Sugawara is the one to close the agonizing distance. It’s a magical moment: maybe it’s because of the way the warm June wind starts to blow, causing the leaves from the branches above to fall around them. Or maybe it’s because the contact is so slow but impatient, so gentle but passionate, so tender but intense. Whatever it is, it all comes together in a symphony of sensations that Oikawa gets lost in.

Koushi is usually the one who starts a kiss gentle, and Oikawa takes the lead when it’s not enough. This time it’s Koushi who deepens the connection, angling his head to make sure every part of Oikawa’s lips is involved. It catches him off-guard, but only for a heartbeat because he follows closely behind and covers every stretch of Suga’s mouth. Warm fingers then get acquainted with his cheeks, the palms of a setter’s hands now ensuring that Oikawa can’t go anywhere. He can’t help smiling at the gesture, as if to say _I was never planning to leave._

The fireworks pause in their ignition, though. Sugawara seems to remember that they’re both still in public. While they’re safely tucked away in a corner of campus that tends to be quieter, staying locked in the kiss a moment longer could warrant a cacophony of unexpected giggles and teases. Sugawara pulls away just a little bit, out of breath as he starts to speak.

“Tooru, we—” Oikawa presses his lips to Suga’s again. “—really shouldn’t—” Another kiss. “We have class soon—” Another kiss. “What if—”

“Too much talking, not enough kissing,” Oikawa murmurs, refusing to let this moment go. “Plus, everyone else thinks we’re super cute together. Can’t I take this time to really show that off to them?”

“You’re infuriating,” Sugawara replies.

“You love me.”

“I do, damn it. I love you.”

Sugawara stops talking and they return to the task at hand—or, rather, between their lips—and Oikawa pours every _I love you_ he’s wanted to say since the surgery. He mentally scolds himself for not being able to bring other parts of his boyfriend’s body to his own. Sugawara has taken the lead role in that recently, but he still wishes he could hold a supporting position.

Tooru doesn’t hold back his desire to thank Koushi for everything he’s done into this kiss. For every time he helps him change into fresh clothes, cooks them meals, elevates his healing knee to make it more comfortable, and stays by his side even when he’s the first to fall asleep at night. To Oikawa, recovery has only felt like a burden. He can’t imagine how much of a burden _he_ must have been to Sugawara, along with it, and he would only continue to be for the next several months.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa apologizes suddenly. This time, he’s the one to break away.

“Tooru… What for…?” Sugawara asks quietly, opening his eyes to meet Oikawa’s.

But Oikawa doesn’t know how to answer without tugging at the first heartstring. Any way he words it will make that impossible to dance around. If he’s not honest, though, it would only make the other man worry even more. That’s all he ever seemed to do. Not just to Koushi, but to Hajime. Issei. Takahiro. The Sugawara family. His teammates, classmates, lab peers, and coaches.

“I’m just gonna be a lot to deal with, for everyone. You, your parents, Iwa-chan and Mattsun. I guess… I don’t want any of you to help me out of pity, or if I end up being a burden…”

There’s the first tug, and it’s not gentle in the least. Oikawa can feel it pull and pull with as much force as the bullet train exerts when it travels from Miyagi to Tokyo, because he’s the one on the other end of the string. It hurts and it wants to snap right into two; Oikawa’s heart wants to shatter into two when he timidly waits for how his boyfriend would react. _He’s worried. Damn it, I’m making him worry, I—_

He’s caught off guard with a kiss that is completely different from the one they had just shared. The emotions fueling it are sad, heavy, and on the verge of bursting out of their chests. Oikawa closes his eyes and lets the wave flow from Koushi’s heart to his. He wants to share the pain, the worry, and his selflessness because he doesn’t want to be alone, even if things become too much for them.

They break apart after a minute to catch their breaths, then Suga rests his forehead against Oikawa’s, one hand moving to rub up and down his arm. He’s afraid that any other movements would shatter the safety of their proximity, so Oikawa leans into the touch.

“You’re not a burden, Tooru,” Sugawara says, his voice the softest it’s been all morning. “I haven’t thought that once since the surgery. What makes you think that’ll change now?”

There’s a lump in his throat that renders impossible to force down. Now he wishes he could take his words back because their vulnerability is too much for even Oikawa to handle. Why did he think it would be okay for Sugawara to be exposed to it, too?

“Thank you for telling me,” Suga continues. “But I don’t want you to worry. I already told you we’re going to make it through this together. You know that Iwa-chan, Mattsun, and Makki are here for you, as well. What kind of best friends would they be if they weren’t there to hear you out? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help? It’s obvious they care about you a lot. I care a lot about you, Tooru.”

Once again, Suga is right on the mark. He remembers waking up after the surgery to Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki’s hushed voices. They had traveled all the way from Tokyo to see him, despite knowing they would have to miss class for it. He recalls his most recent meet-up with Hajime, and how he arranged to stay for a night in Miyagi to make it happen. He thinks about how Koushi has accompanied him to every appointment and helped him learn how to use the crutches. The fact that all four of them did not hesitate to put Oikawa’s needs first was a gesture that not just any friend would do for anyone.

Oikawa is grateful. Endlessly, immensely grateful, and he doesn’t want to take that for granted. Not even for a split second.

“I wouldn’t even call them my best friends if they weren’t,” Oikawa states, sniffling a little in amusement.

“I assumed you would say that,” Suga admits with a chuckle.

The previously heavy atmosphere has eased out, so Oikawa takes the break in the tension to thank Koushi with one more kiss. Then he leans back until there’s a comfortable space between them, readjusting the footing of his crutches to rebalance himself.

He sneaks a peek at his watch and sees that there is just enough time for the two of them to walk to Oikawa’s first lecture together.

“Perfect timing. Walk me to class?” Tooru asks.

Sugawara nods and the corners of his mouth curve up right after. “I would love to.”

\-----

Oikawa is glad that this is one of his lectures with a smaller class. Walking around with crutches already proved to be enough of a hassle. But now that he was back at school, he would have to get used to navigating around his peers without causing too much trouble. Less classmates meant he could sit in the outer chairs and, hopefully, would not have to rush in leaving when class concluded. However, that also meant he needed to wait for the inner seats to fill up as to avoid blocking those paths.

He lingers at a back corner of the hall, greeting any friends with a nod and smile when they entered. Some of them had eyed the crutches before suddenly becoming very interested in the presentation projected onto the wall, and he tried to brush that off as best as he could. Having eyes on him like that is an entirely different sensation compared to an audience’s eyes at volleyball matches.

“Looks like things went well,” a deeper, heartier voice soon addresses him.

Oikawa could recognize that voice from a mile away. It’s none other than Sawamura Daichi, with a tablet in his left hand and a backpack on his shoulders. Any lingering signs of their past Karasuno and Sejioh rivalry have dimmed down over their years as undergraduates. It shows in the way Tooru returns Daichi’s greeting with a genuine smile.

Since they were pursuing the same majors, the two now-close friends have shared many of the same classes and many, _many_ late nights studying for the same exams. Along with bonding over how it was impossible to memorize the names of every bone in the human body (they somehow managed to pass that exam), playing on the university team together gave them more chances to hang out without the stress of classes.

“Hey, Captain. Good to see you again,” Tooru says.

“I wish you would stop calling me that, Oikawa-kun. We’re juniors in college and I haven’t been captain since high school,” Daichi states with a sigh.

Oikawa laughs. “Sorry, Sawa-chan. You just always have that vibe going. Who knows, maybe you’ll be captain next year!” Because even though it’s been years since their days wearing the #1 jersey, Daichi continued to step up during practice and was frequently asked to help with drills, stretches, and receiving. Before tearing his ACL, Oikawa had also assisted with setting during spiking practice and coaching on how to serve, but the way that Daichi led others was completely different. It was inspiring, it was unwavering, and it was confident.

Tooru doesn’t understand how Sawamura couldn’t envision himself in that position again. Maybe it was because the captains this year were strong and Daichi was holding back to avoid having the slightest amount of the spotlight to shine on him. But _everyone_ , including the captains, were aware of his strong sense of leadership.

Oikawa respects that. It’s not out of envy or jealousy, because he believes he’s grown past his intense and often monstrous attitude toward the sport. University has taught him numerous lessons that have helped him mellow out and learn what it meant to show true sportsmanship.

“It’s an honor to hear that coming from you,” Daichi says. Then he shakes his head, and Oikawa notices his grip on the tablet grow firmer. “It’s too early in the season to see that happening, though.”

Before Oikawa can counter, Daichi motions his free hand toward the seats. The room has filled up noticeably since the start of their conversation. “We should go sit down before there aren’t any aisle seats left,” he recommends. “Do you need help carrying anything?”

Oikawa has learned that Sawamura was always one to reach out to anyone and everyone. He appreciates the offer, but kindly declines by shaking his head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll be alright. Let’s go sit down.”

They walk down the aisle until there’s a row with two free seats on the outermost end. Daichi situates himself in the inner chair before pushing down on the adjacent seat. Oikawa thanks him again with another smile, then sneaks into the space between the rows and sits down.

There’s ten minutes until class starts, so Oikawa takes the time to catch up with Daichi. They talk about the lecture topics Oikawa missed, about Daichi’s boyfriend—the infamous Kuroo Tetsurou—and about finding time to study for their next test. Apparently Daichi went to visit Kuroo the past weekend in Tokyo with the intention of visiting the Skytree. But instead they spent the entirety of one day looking for Kuroo’s calico cat and the other witnessing Kuroo cram in a lengthy homework assignment that was due a minute short of 5 PM. Daichi appeared as exhausted as his voice sounded, most likely the result of their futile efforts to find the feline.

“That’s why Koushi and I decided that if we ever get a pet, it’ll be a fish. Because if we got a cat, we might have to go on adventures like that. Stuff like that isn’t good for my knee,” Oikawa states.

Daichi releases a laugh that is considerably less worn out than the bags under his eyes suggested. It seems Oikawa managed to cheer him up a little.

“Oh, yeah!” Daichi says to change topics. “Suga texted me yesterday that you’re starting to work for his parents? That’s great! We’ll miss seeing you at practice, though. I heard it’s gonna be a rough one tonight because coach wants us to practice more serves.”

“And that’s totally my area of expertise, too,” Oikawa remarks with a frown. “Coach is definitely doing that on purpose because he knows I can’t be there to set the example.”

“You should stop by, then, and say hi to everyone!”

Oikawa shakes his head. “Can’t. Got an appointment with the orthopedist during practice time. And I have to go to the lab to talk to the grad student.”

“Gotcha. I’ll be sure to tell everyone you’re back on campus, though. They’ll be excited,” Daichi insists with a grin.

Then the lecture hall dims down when the professor steps up to start class.

The next fifty minutes pass by faster than Oikawa expected. Probably because he was frantically taking notes about the endocrine system in an attempt to start catching up on everything he missed. The rest of his day follows a similar pattern, and by the time he’s finished for the day, he’s already tired from how much energy he had to expend to keep himself upright.

After one more haul across campus to talk to the graduate student at the lab (who was more than understanding and allowed Oikawa to take time off until the crutches were no longer necessary), he finally has a moment of peace. He settles down at his and Sugawara’s favorite waiting spot. A clocktower eventually resonates with a loud chime, indicating that another full hour has passed, and it’s the usual signal that Sugawara was done with his last class.

Speaking of his boyfriend, a few minutes pass until he hears his voice calling his name over the rush of students. That silver hair he knows by heart is a relief for his sore eyes and fatigued arms. Oikawa positions his crutches so he can push off from the bench. At that point, Sugawara rushes over to try and stop Oikawa from doing anything more.

“Here, let me help—” Suga insists, but Oikawa shakes his head to finish the work he’s already started.

“No worries, Kou-chan. I’ve got it,” Oikawa assures. He’s finally accustomed to sitting down and getting back up with the supports, but unfortunately that didn’t mean it was any less discomforting. “I think we need to tape some towels onto the handles. It’s starting to pinch my arms a lot. But first! The doctor!”

“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that when we get home. Let’s get to the doctor now.”

\-----

“The MRIs are looking good so far. I don’t see anything in the ligament that could warrant any problems in the near future.”

Oikawa lets out a sigh of relief that he’s been holding in since he entered the clinic. The news, undoubtedly, takes an immense amount of weight off his shoulders.

As the orthopedist nods and types up more patient notes, Oikawa looks over at Sugawara, who is watching their interaction in a chair off to the side. He smiles, but it’s nervous, shrouded in anticipation that the doctor might actually be hiding something bad from them. Oikawa manages to smile back to say _It’ll be alright._

But Oikawa is nervous, too. Nervous that something, somewhere might have gone wrong. He’s never had surgery before, and complications weren’t completely avoidable. Maybe he wasn’t doing his exercises correctly. Maybe he should be doing them more often. Maybe he went back to school too soon.

“And from what you’ve told me, it sounds like the pain has been manageable,” the doctor comments, snapping Oikawa out of his train of anxious thoughts. “Which I’m glad to hear. Keep up with what you’ve been doing for it so far. How have you been with your knee exercises?”

“I’ve been doing them as I was told to. Three times a day, doing calf and hamstring stretches, quad sets, ankle pumps, hip extensions, and heel slides.” A few of those stretches have become second nature to him over the course of his athletic career. But doing them with a knee out of commission had proved to be enough of a challenge that he needed Sugawara’s help here and there.

“Good. I’m glad you’re on top of it. Keep doing them for the next week and a half, three times a day. We want to make sure that the blood keeps flowing. Then, once you reach two weeks, you’ll be able to start putting weight on your knee again.”

There’s that glimmer of hope that Oikawa has been searching desperately for.

“You’ll still need to use your crutches then. At around four weeks, we’ll see if you can stop using them,” the doctor adds on.

And that glimmer is dimming slightly. On the positive side, at least he would be able to put weight on his knee. That itself is progress, and it’s certainly better than nothing.

The doctor slides a sheet of paper across the desk to Oikawa. When it’s in his reach, he picks it up and starts to read its contents. It’s a list of recommended physical therapists in the Miyagi area with their contact information.

“Look into these physical therapists and let me know which one you choose. They have programs specialized in ACL recovery, and I want you to start after our two-week checkup,” the doctor continues on. “This is an important part in your recovery, especially if you want to go back to playing volleyball.”

The fact that his entire volleyball career now rides on the success of his physical therapy unsettles his stomach. But all that means is that he would have to be diligent with it, making sure to attend every session and follow every instruction.

Oikawa is determined. His eyes see one goal, and his heart refuses to only meet it halfway.

The doctor makes no mention of any complications before the appointment concludes. Thus, the train ride back to the apartment is filled with a calm air, making it easier for Oikawa and Sugawara to discuss plans for the next few weeks. They’re laughing at Oikawa’s retelling of Daichi’s recent adventures with Kuroo when they unlock the door to the apartment, to be greeted by a fresh wave of thick, hot air.

To cut down the cost of utilities, they agreed to turn the air off whenever neither of them were around. Unfortunately, it also meant that whenever the sun took its chance to shine most brilliantly all day long, its rays found a home in every corner of their apartment. Oikawa can already start to feel sweat forming on his forehead from the stuffiness.

“I think we’re gonna regret our decision later on,” Oikawa predicts as Suga shuts the door behind them. One crutch after the other, one foot after the other, he makes his way over to their room to change into more suitable clothes.

“It’s better than us regretting a huge utilities bill,” Sugawara replies, following close behind. “Here, let me help you change.”

For some strange reason, Sugawara offering to help Oikawa with the normally simple task still made his cheeks burn. He wants to refuse to tone down the additional rush of heat, but changing clothes remained a hassle. He couldn’t open his dresser drawers or slip into different pants without the crutches pinching his skin or risking an accidental brush over the surgical wounds. Oikawa grumbles in compliance and trudges over to their bed, sinking into the mattress side.

After Suga grabs a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and sets them down, he begins at the bottom of his blue button-up. His fingers undo the buttons, then slide the fabric off to reveal a white undershirt. Oikawa reaches down to undo the tucked-in hem, but Koushi acts faster, though not at the same place. Paler digits are navigating to his right arm, and Sugawara is insanely delicate with his touch as his fingertips brush along his skin. It makes Oikawa shiver.

“Koushi?”

He watches Sugawara’s eyes soften, sees his lips press together in thought, and waits for the other man to reply. Instead, the answer he receives is in the form of being silenced with with Suga’s lips.

It’s an urgent motion, more passionate than the kiss they shared this morning. It only lasts for a few seconds, leaving Oikawa just as surprised at that as how unexpected it was to begin with.

“What was that for?” he asks, surprisingly out of breath, like Koushi intended to steal all the air out from his lungs.

“Mmm… Dunno…” Sugawara answers innocently, but Oikawa gets the feeling that he _does_ know.

Sugawara finishes the job and takes his time as he pulls the undershirt over his head. Oikawa knows it’s not slow because it’s a tease. It’s slow because Sugawara is gentle with everything, in everything. He’s gentle in the way he helps Oikawa scoot back and lie down on the bed. He’s gentle in the way he joins him, now resting by his side. He’s gentle when his hands get reacquainted with the dips and curves of Oikawa’s stomach, as if they were made to fit there perfectly.

There’s nothing Oikawa loves more in this moment than the soft hazel eyes gazing into his own. Their lips secure each other once more, getting lost in the sensation of skin on skin and mouth on mouth. It’s a dangerous combination, especially with the way Sugawara’s fingers are drawing circles around his abdomen.

Koushi occupies every space in his heart and the air Oikawa breathes.

After several minutes, they break apart to breathe, their lungs working at a rapid pace. Oikawa can’t help laughing as he places his own hand on top of Koushi’s where it’s still working. He loves how his boyfriend is making sure every part of his stomach is receiving the same amount of attention, but his own hands are feeling left out now.

“In all seriousness, I’m glad that the doctor didn’t give us any bad news,” Sugawara says. “I’m really happy. It means everything’s been going well so far.”

Oikawa nods. He’s happy that they didn’t receive bad news, too. Now it’s just a matter of where to go from here, starting with a physical therapist.

“We should probably, um,” Oikawa clears his throat. “We should look at that list, before we get a little too carried away.”

“Touuuu-chan… I can’t believe you just said that to me. When has Oikawa Tooru ever minded getting a bit carried away? Especially when it comes to kissing and touching?”

As accurate as that is, Oikawa’s mouth drops open. He’s shocked that _that_ is what’s on Suga’s mind, even when they _both_ knew Oikawa had enough missed schoolwork to last him the next two months. Oikawa is finding it more and more difficult to resist, though, and after just a few seconds of not-so-intense contemplation, he seals their mouths in another deep kiss.

Oikawa could stay like this forever.

But forever only lasts for half an hour. When Sugawara finishes helping Oikawa change, they walk back to the main living area to reluctantly begin their evening studies.

“I think—” Sugawara suddenly says after an hour passes, glancing up from his textbook. “—you should see the physical therapist closest to our apartment. It looks like there’s one just a few blocks away.”

Oikawa taps the writing end of his pen on his notebook as he recalls the address and name of the mentioned physical therapist. It would be considerably more convenient if he chose the clinic closest to them to avoid extra traveling.

“Sounds good to me. Uh, Dr. Fukuhara, right?” Oikawa double checks.

“Yup! We should probably arrange to meet up with him sometime. Doctor said he needs to coordinate your progress with the appropriate exercises in PT.”

“I can do that tomorrow. Just shoot me a text to remind me after class.”

Speaking of texts, his phone screen lights up with one from Iwaizumi. “One sec, it’s Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says and meets Suga’s eyes to request permission to answer. Sugawara nods and smiles, then he picks up his phone and starts typing.

_**[iwa-mom @ 16:08]: How’d the appointment go today?** _  
_[me @ 20:08]: really good!!! doc said there weren’t any complications with the new ligament_  
_**[iwa-mom @ 16:09]: Good to hear. Make sure to find a physical therapist soon. You’re on track to start that in two weeks or something?**_  
_[me @ 20:09]: iwa-chan~~~~!! :3 you actually are my doctor!!!_  
_**[iwa-mom @ 16:11]: say that again and i’ll block you**_  
_[me @ 16:11]: rude :(_  
_[me @ 16:12]: don’t worry, suga literally just asked me about one. he’s apparently super close to our apartment so getting over there won’t be a problem! yay :D_  
_**[iwa-mom @ 16:13]: Good. Gotta go study for a quiz and Mattsun needs help with something, just wanted to check in with you. Talk later.**_  
_[me @ 16:13]: okay! bye bye! ;)_

“Iwa-chan just wanted to make sure the doctor appointment went well,” Oikawa fills in as he sets his phone back face down on the table.

“He’s too good of a friend to you, Tou-chan,” Sugawara comments, smirking as his eyes follow along with the words on the current page.

“So, I should be nice to him and stop trying to pick on him on purpose? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“Hey, your words, not mine.”

“You’re too good, Kou-chan.”

“I know.”

They study for another two hours until both of their stomachs are running on empty. Oikawa’s gives in first and disturbs the silence with a growl loud enough for Sugawara to hear. A laugh bubbles up in his chest and follows through, and Suga joins.

“Hungry?” Sugawara asks, setting his pen down in the dip of his textbook.

“Starving,” Oikawa replies immediately while sliding his glasses off, then setting them down on the table. He pinches the fatigue out of his eyes as best as he can before meeting Suga’s eyes.

Sugawara starts to get up. “I’ll get started on dinner, then. I bought a milk bread for you in-between classes—should be enough to tide you over for half an hour, yeah?”

Oikawa perks up like a puppy when its owner finally comes back home for the day. In this case, the owner of his heart is the milk bread located in Sugawara’s backpack, which he points to before walking over to the kitchen. Oikawa reaches around the table to grab the bag and works quickly to retrieve his most precious snack.

“Kouuuu-chaaan! You shouldn’t have!” Oikawa insists playfully, ripping off the corner of the wrapper and tearing the rest of it apart like a birthday present. He takes the first bite almost too quickly because he almost chokes on it, and he aggressively pounds at his chest until it settles in comfortably.

“Be careful, Tooru! How many times have I told you not to eat that fast?”

“I know, I know. But it’s been _ages_ since my last milk bread!”

“You just had one yesterday.”

“Which is the same as _ages!_ Seriously, what’s the occasion?” he asks before finishing the rest of the bread in four big bites.

Koushi closes the fridge door with a handful of ingredients cradled in his arms. “Nothing, really. I just wanted to cheer you up, since these past few days have been pretty rough. Is that okay?”

Oikawa feels his chest go soft in all the right ways, and it’s definitely not the milk bread at work. While Sugawara is slicing carrot peels off, he takes his time getting up from the floor. Step by step, _thunk_ after _thunk,_ it takes a minute to meet his boyfriend in the kitchen. Once he’s lingering behind him, he leans over and rests his chin on Suga’s shoulder. Oikawa feels him go tense, and that’s when he knows the other man is right where he wants him.

“Yeah, it’s more than okay. It’s very sweet of you and I love you,” Oikawa finally answers, his lips just brushing Koushi’s neck.

“What are you doing, Tooru?” Sugawara asks, setting the vegetable slicer down.

“Why do you always think I’m up to something, Koushi?”

“Because you usually are.”

Oikawa smirks as Koushi is definitely not wrong about that. It’s _because_ he is fully aware of that that Oikawa wants to keep his partner on his toes, constantly in anticipation for his next move.

“Should I not be up to something right now?” Oikawa asks.

“If it’s not what I think you’re about to do… then, no,” Sugawara responds, the rise and fall of his shoulders slow.

“Always so honest with me, Kou-chan.” And Tooru initiates his plan of attack. His lips come in full contact with warm skin, reveling in the way Suga gasps at it. Oikawa knows Sugawara is sensitive there, giving him the advantage in their current positions.

“D-don’t you have a physiology quiz to study for?” Suga asks in restraint to Tooru’s teasing.

“I’d rather study _your_ physiology,” Oikawa responds, hoping the flirtation would work wonders on Suga.

Instead, Sugawara snorts, which results in Oikawa burying his face into the crook of his neck. It earns him a heavy shudder that makes him grin playfully.

“That was a terrible joke,” Sugawara says slowly.

“Seems like it worked, though.”

“I love you, too, Tooru. So much.” That’s all Oikawa hears before Sugawara turns around and wraps his arms tightly around Oikawa’s waist, bringing him in for a hug. Suga is emitting an insane amount of warmth that makes today’s stresses melt away.

The stress of going back to class. The stress from catching up on everything. The stress of the doctor’s appointment and his physiology quiz tomorrow. All of that disappears when Koushi kisses him, is close to him, is there to support him when his knees go weak with pain. In the space of their apartment, they’re in their own world. There are no professors to bombard them with tests or doctor appointments to make them nervous.

The carrots never got peeled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 5 is gonna be a good one... get ready folks...


	5. not-so worthless pride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa recalls his first visit to the university volleyball team since the surgery and the infamous words of a certain super ace. he's not too pleased at remembering the latter...
> 
>  **timeline:** june 28th-29th, 7-8 days after surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was rewatching haikyuu for the millionth time and suddenly wanted to make things a little bit angsty. please don’t hurt me,, also lots of chemistry terms in this chapter because sugawara and oikawa have a lot of chemistry, if you get what i mean hehehe
> 
> i suffered from chemistry courses for the past three years, i think i’m allowed to use it in fanfics

“Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty,” Sugawara counts down as Oikawa pulls the towel towards his body, stretching out the muscles from foot to calf. At thirty seconds, he loosens his hold on the towel, allowing his right leg to relax.

“Good job today,” Sugawara says with a smile. “Did the stretches feel alright?”

Oikawa nods as he takes the same towel to wipe off the sweat rimming the nape of his neck.

“Still hurts a bit, but not as much as before.”

“I know. Don’t push yourself too hard for the rest of the night, okay?”

“Got it. Want to keep on studying?”

“Sure. I finished most of what I needed to get done, but I can find something else to do.”

Oikawa shakes his head. “No, that’s alright. You’ve had a busy day, so I can stay up by myself and catch up some more.”

Sugawara had lent a helping hand one too many times today, and exhaustion was evident in the way he was sleepily wincing. Oikawa had insisted that he could do tonight’s stretches by himself, but once again, Suga managed to convince him otherwise.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind, Tou-chan.”

“I’m sure. Go on and get ready for bed, Kou-chan. I’ll join you in about an hour or so,” Oikawa promises while resisting the urge to fall asleep on the floor instead.

Koushi hesitates, but Oikawa shoos him away before he has a chance to argue. “Really, Mr. Refreshing. I’ll be okay.”

“Alright, Tooru. No promises that I won’t pass out before you’re done, though.”

“I’d be alright with that. You’re super adorable when you’re asleep,” Oikawa comments. When he pictures that marvelous sight, his stomach already starts to fill with warmth: silver hair tousled all over the pillow, his body always wrapped up in a blanket burrito. Sometimes he snored softly and lulled Oikawa to sleep; sometimes when Oikawa went to bed later, he woke up just enough to cuddle closer and mutter something along the lines of “I luh you…” before falling back asleep.

“Mmmm, I know. You’ve told me many times already,” Sugawara remarks with a gentle chuckle. He squats down next to Oikawa and brushes back the hair hiding his forehead, leaving a long kiss there. “Don’t stay up too late, m’kay?”

“Okay. Good night, Kou-chan. Love you.”

“Good night, Tooru. I love you, too.”

Once Sugawara leaves the room to get ready for bed, Oikawa resituates himself in a chair by the bar table, takes out his physiology notes, and puts his glasses back on.

_Bzz, bzz, bzz._

His phone vibrates and lights up with messages from Iwaizumi. The timing is almost too perfect, as if he sent them knowing Oikawa would be getting ready for another late night at this exact second. Oikawa should have seen this coming, so he prepares himself for the worst scolding of the week.

_[iwa-mom @ 23:09]: Don’t pull an all-nighter, Crappykawa._

_Okay, Iwa-chan’s not angry. Yet._

_**[me @ 23:09]: how did you know I was studying**  
__[iwa-mom @ 23:10]: because i know you so well_  
_[iwa-mom @ 23:10]: Just cuz you’re behind doesn’t mean you have excuses to stay up all night_  
_**[me @ 23:11]: I won’t!!!! I can barely keep my eyes open :’(**_  
_[iwa-mom @ 23:12]: go to bed sleepykawa_  
_**[me @ 23:13]: that’s a new one iwa-chan**_  
_[iwa-mom @ 23:14]: night shittykawa_  
_**[me @ 23:15]: :(**_  
**_[me @ 23:15]: night!_**

Of course, Oikawa had no plans to be sleeping anytime soon. Whether or not Iwaizumi actually believed his text message, that would be a problem for the morning.

The clock in the kitchen ticks away aimlessly as Oikawa turns page after page, answers question after question, and reads note after note. He barely managed to scrape the edge of a passing grade on Tuesday’s quiz, but as soon as one is over, the next one is instantly scheduled by his relentless physiology professor. Tomorrow’s covers the topics he missed last week, and while he managed to mostly catch up on those within the last three days, everything was still a jumbled mess in his brain. It didn’t help that fatigue made his handwriting look like nonsensical scribbles and memories of a recent visit to volleyball practice clouded his focus.

After refusing Daichi’s invitations to visit their team at least five times, he finally gave in on Wednesday and went to the gym after their last lecture.

The rush of euphoria he experienced once he walked through the gym’s double doors was incomparable to the joy he felt whenever Sugawara bought him milk bread. The almost blinding lights hanging from the ceiling; the nets stretched perfectly between the poles and raised to the optimal height for a men’s team; the perfect whites of the court dividing the attack from the service lines; it was all too surreal, even after countless years of playing proudly in gyms exactly like it. Even right now, an entire day after visiting the team, it caught the air in his lungs.

Everyone welcomed him back with ecstatic arms, bombarding him with questions like “When are you coming back?” and “How did everything go last week?” He knew there were nothing but good intentions behind each one, but they didn’t do much to help the queasiness that had settled in his stomach. Thinking about going back to the court and _actually_ standing on it were two very different things. Now that he had done the latter, he realizes that no amount of thinking could have prepared his body for the real deal. He had been standing on that stage with his own two feet, but all they could do was support the weight of his healing knee. They couldn’t run, they couldn’t prepare him to toss the ball, they couldn’t walk up to an opposing team member to shake their hand.

They couldn’t do anything he wanted them to do.

But everyone else could do _exactly_ what they wanted their feet to do. They could run over to Oikawa to ask him how he was doing. They could run up to the net and get ready for a spike. They could meet their captains at the end of practice for a team meeting.

_You chose the wrong path._

_Because of your worthless pride, you didn’t choose it._

Oikawa blinks hard, wondering why Ushijima’s proclamation from three years ago suddenly rung in his ears. He starts to boil with anger, regretting why he even kept those words shoved in the back of his memory in the first place. They were bold. They were certain. They were wrong.

They were wrong. It’s because of Oikawa’s “worthless pride” that he made the most of his high school career. It’s because of that “worthless pride” that he became the main setter on the university team. His “worthless pride” that gave him best friends he didn’t deserve in the least.

It’s because of that worthless pride that he decided to make the worst toss of his life, because while it won the game for his team, all _he_ won was a torn ligament and up to six months away from volleyball.

It’s 1:32 in the morning when Oikawa’s throat starts to burn with frustration, fighting back the urge to slam his fists down on the counter so he doesn’t disturb his boyfriend. He didn’t notice how late it was in the midst of his exhausted studying and reminiscing.

He draws in a deep breath and replays the night that he and Koushi talked about the match. He tries to listen to Koushi’s soothing voice instead, reassuring him that his decision wasn’t a mistake. That Oikawa’s passion and focus on volleyball are qualities to admire, not feel remorse over. That whenever he had a goal in mind, there was nothing wrong with doing what he thought was best to get there. Because _that_ is right path to him—it always has been.

There was nothing wrong with making decisions he believed would benefit the greater good of his team, right? Even at the cost of his own knee? His whole athletic career?

His worthless pride is starting to feel a lot like his greatest weakness rather than strength. So much for trying to convince Ushijima otherwise those not-so-many years ago.

“Tooru…?”

When Oikawa hears Suga’s sleepy voice, he aggressively blinks away any signs of turmoil, then slowly looks over his shoulder to see his boyfriend rubbing his eyes awake.

“Hey, Kou-chan. Sorry, did I wake you up?”

Sugawara shakes his head before trudging over to him. He looks like he’s almost sleep walking, and Oikawa feels himself relax at the adorable sight in front of him. When Suga is close, his arms reach out in greeting, and Oikawa gladly accepts by wrapping his arms around leaner shoulders. The sensation of Sugawara burrowing the top of his head into the space between Oikawa’s chin and collarbone makes him grow wearier. If they stay like this for too long, he might fall asleep with Sugawara’s hair as a pillow.

“Come to bed… It’s almost two in the morning…”

Oikawa sighs and is one step closer to yielding to Koushi. He contemplates studying for just a bit longer but considering how he hasn’t registered a single piece of information in the last hour, it was probably a sign that he should stop. It doesn’t help that hugging Koushi is equivalent to being buried under the warmth of their blanket and in the proximity of their bodies.

“Alright. Let me go get ready, then I’ll be right there,” Oikawa finally succumbs. When Koushi presses a kiss to his collarbone and smiles against his skin, it sends a chill down his spine. Then he pulls back and treks back the way he came, leaving the bedroom door open when he returns.

He packs everything back up in his bag, brushes his teeth, and joins Sugawara in their room, shutting the door behind him. It’s dark, but the streetlights peek through their window just enough for Oikawa to see Sugawara patting the space next to him, his face glowing under the white refractions. Oikawa follows suit and slides under the covers to fill the emptiness, closing any distance between them.

They linger in silence for several minutes, letting their hands do all the talking. Koushi’s roam freely up and down his chest while Oikawa’s rub hearts along Koushi’s back. Koushi’s air is sweet and overwhelms his senses perfectly, like a chemical reaction that can only occur with the exact proportions of reactants. Oikawa gets closer and closer to drifting off into slumber, but the need to stay up to experience the miracle that is Sugawara Koushi overpowers the weight dragging his eyelids down. Sugawara seems to feel the same way when he hovers over Oikawa’s face and meets his mouth, setting off another reaction that’s similar yet entirely different to the one their hands catalyzed.

Oikawa doesn’t pay attention to how much time passes as Suga kisses him tenderly, the curves of their lips meeting in all the right places, their teeth occasionally running into each other as they find ways to deepen the connection. It becomes harder to do that with mouths alone, so Oikawa presses the tip of his tongue against Koushi’s lips and they accept the invitation, coming apart to let it come home. Sugawara tastes like mint toothpaste, and the flavors intensify when Suga’s tongue meets Oikawa’s. It’s irresistible and Oikawa wants to memorize it all and learn it over and over again at the same time.

How in the world was Oikawa here, right now, with the only person who put up with his worthless pride with gentle love? (Iwaizumi put up with it, too, but with tough love. Really tough and painful love.) He’ll never get used to kissing Sugawara, with lips softer than down feathers and skin smoother than a freshly polished court floor.

Sugawara pulls away to catch his breath first, and Oikawa does the same, his boyfriend’s taste leaving him wanting more. Instead, he feels Sugawara’s hair tickling his chest as he rests the side of his head there, nuzzling into it. Oikawa sighs happily, bringing a hand up to tangle his fingers in the grey strands.

“Everything okay?” Sugawara asks quietly to break the air of silence.

“Yeah, it’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Promise, Kou-chan. Let’s get some sleep now.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Good night.”

His worthless pride didn’t feel so worthless as he fell asleep, the comfort of Sugawara filling it with more worth than he ever could’ve imagined.

\------

 _[iwa-mom @ 8:01]: you stayed up late again, didn’t you?_  
_**[me @ 8:14]: What the heck, you can’t even tell**_  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:20]: I don’t need to see you to know_  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:21]: something happen?_

Oikawa presses his lips together in thought. He’s reluctant to tell Iwaizumi of his latest _You should’ve come to Shiratorizawa_ recollection, mostly out of worry that his friend has gotten tired of listening to the same story over again. Every time, Ushijima’s words applied to his life in a different way than the last. That didn’t make them any less irritating, though.

His opportunity to reply is interrupted by a hearty plate of breakfast set down in front of him. He puts his phone face down on the table, taking Koushi’s hand in his own before he can draw it back.

“Thank you for breakfast. And for yesterday, too,” Oikawa says.

“You’re welcome, Tou-chan,” Sugawara responds with a smile much too wide, considering how late they stayed up last night.

“Your mom and dad want me to start tomorrow, right?” Oikawa asks, quickly says _Itadakimasu_ under his breath, then takes the first bite of food.

“Yup! They want me to help take photographs tomorrow, so I’ll go with you.”

“Oooh, professional photographer, Mr. Refreshing!”

Sugawara laughs and waves off the compliment. “Not at all. I only know the basics that my dad taught me, and that was _ages_ ago. I’ve been too busy to help them lately, but it’ll be good to go in and take a break from school, get some more practice in if they need me again. They were practically _begging_ me Wednesday night to visit them tomorrow.”

Oikawa gasps and covers his mouth with the tips of his fingers for extra effect. “ _Only_ the basics? Kou-chan, I think the photographs in our room say otherwise! You’ve got a real knack for that stuff. Now you can show me your stuff when you capture every single one of my good sides.” He winks, earning himself a flushed reaction from his boyfriend.

“You mean the _one_ good side,” Sugawara teases, poking his tongue out.

Oikawa’s eyes widen at that awfully rude remark. “Wow. First you make me breakfast, then you relentlessly attack me like this. I thought you loved me!”

“That’s very debatable right now.”

“So, so, so rude, Kou-chan. You’re a meanie.”

He puffs out his chest and his cheeks with an exaggerated pout before grumbling into tamago gohan.

“Besides,” Sugawara continues, intentionally ignoring Oikawa’s previous comment. “They might want me to take photos on other sets, so I probably won’t be doing yours tomorrow. It’ll most likely be my dad, since you’re new and all.”

As much as Oikawa cherished Nori-senpai’s kindness, the thought of working with him on a professional level still made him grow restless. There’s something in the back of his mind warning him that their most recent meeting didn’t reflect how Nori would actually treat him in a work setting. Those few hours were mostly to catch up, between a father and his son’s boyfriend. What tomorrow morning would entail remains a complete mystery.

But, the thought of the unknown is also exciting, as much as it shook up his nerves. And Koushi would be there with him, too. Maybe starting his modeling internship would prove to be a distraction that he needed. It couldn’t be healthy for him to be dwelling on the court this much, this often.

Oikawa’s phone starts to vibrate incessantly as he shoves another spoonful of rice into his mouth. He almost forgot to respond to Hajime—almost, because he’s also purposefully trying to avoid answering his question—and knowing that his friend would punch him for it later, he puts the spoon down in the bowl and picks up the phone.

 _[iwa-mom @ 8:45]: Oi dumbass, I know you’re ignoring me_  
_**[me @ 8:46]: NO I WASN’T!!! suga made me breakfast and I was eating, thank YOU v much**_  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:48]: Sure, if you say so_  
_**[me @ 8:51]: >:(**_  
**_[me @ 8:53]: i was doing some things w koushi last night ;)_**  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:54]: I’m blocking you right now_  
_**[me @ 8:55]: I’M JUST KIDDING OH MY GOODNESS**_

Oikawa hesitates, wondering if he should tell Hajime the things that had been bothering him. As rough as his words could be, he knows at heart that his best friend was never one to judge him. Not for his pride, not for his insecurities, not for his own reckless decisions. He scrolls back to Iwaizumi’s earlier message, asking if something had happened, stares at it for a few seconds, then checks the time. There isn’t enough for him to respond with an answer that wouldn’t require further elaboration in the next thirty minutes he had to get to campus.

 ** _[me @ 8:57]: I don’t have enough time to explain everything. Video call about it later?_**  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:58]: must be pretty serious_  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:58]: Sounds good. Practice will run late 2nite, but I’ll let u know when we’re back_  
_[iwa-mom @ 8:59]: Issei says he’s joining too. Means he thinks u must really need our help_  
_**[me @ 9:00]: I have the best friends in the whole universe!!!! <3**_  
_[iwa-mom @ 9:01]: Like we’d ever want that with you_  
_[iwa-mom @ 9:02]: Kidding. See you later_  
_**[me @ 9:03]: iwa-chan, you do have a heart!!! Bye bye!**_

“I’m video calling Iwa-chan and Mattsun tonight,” Oikawa explains when he looks up from the screen, seeing that Koushi has been observing closely.

“So, something is up, then?”

Oikawa has been exposed. He presses his lips together firmly as warmth creeps into his cheeks in shame. Just like Iwaizumi, there was never any chance of getting anything past his own partner.

“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night. It was really late, and—”

Sugawara cuts him off by taking Oikawa’s hands in his, folding them together in perfect harmony.

“It’s okay,” Suga says, giving Oikawa’s nose a kiss for extra reassurance. It makes the heat under his skin burn a few degrees more. “You know there’s never any pressure to tell me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be here for you.”

Oikawa smiles in relief, the tension in his head easing up along with the gesture. “Thank you, Kou-chan. Have I told you lately that you’re the very best boyfriend, and I just adore you?”

Sugawara now has a blush to match Tooru’s own. It’s a sight he can’t look away from, not even for a heartbeat. Not that he wanted to, anyway.

“Stop it,” Sugawara huffs, freeing one hand from its grip to give a light punch to Oikawa’s chest.

“You are, though! You really are!” Oikawa continues to tease with absolutely no intention of stopping.

“Silly Tooru. C’mon, we’re gonna be late for class.”

\-----

“So, you were told that you _‘should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa’_ again,” Iwaizumi repeats, using his best Ushiwaka impression for those infamous words. It’s exaggerated for emphasis on how ridiculous it was to hear it from the super ace himself the first time, and it makes Oikawa, Matsukawa, and Sugawara all laugh at the same time. Hajime looks proud as he gives them a wicked grin, dropping the mocking tone in favor of a low chuckle.

Initially, Oikawa thought he would simply be a nuisance to the other three men for thinking about the Shiratorizawa fiasco again. Relief washes over him as that is currently not the case: here they are, ten minutes into the video call, and each of them have already given their best Ushijima voice (they all agreed that Hajime’s was the best this time around, with Sugawara coming at a close second). It makes Oikawa think that, perhaps, he has been worrying too much.

Ushijima wasn’t Hajime, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, or Sugawara, because he didn’t care about Oikawa like they did. They supported Oikawa in ways they believed would be best for him; Ushijima only wanted what he believed was best for the greater good of his _own_ volleyball career. For his own childish intentions, and that much was obvious when they stood there after his last Inter-High match: Ushijima had cast Aoba Johsai aside as if Oikawa had done nothing but waste three years there. As if Oikawa’s teammates hadn’t become his best friends. As if Seijoh would never, ever win simply because they never wore a purple crown over their shoulders.

Those assumptions were also very, very wrong. All the evidence he needs to prove it is right here in front of him, talking animatedly through the laptop camera. Right here, next to him, with one hand resting gently on his good knee and the other waving off what must have been some ridiculous comment.

There’s no way in all of Japan or the world that this could have been the wrong path.

Oikawa hopes that aside from his throat tightening, there are no other visible signs that his emotions are beginning to override his calm composure. The bad play from his last match may have been a reckless path, but something about the way he can be here with a boyfriend and close friends that are investing their full support in Oikawa’s next paths eases the storm in his mind.

The paths to recovery and a newfound career. The paths to growth and rebuilding strength.

“Hey, Earth to Shittykawa,” Iwaiziumi speaks loudly, bringing Oikawa back to said planet. “We didn’t lose you in space, did we?”

Oikawa clears his throat and shakes his head, quickly able to pull off a bright smile. “Nope, you actually lost me at Shiratorizawa.”

Iwaizumi smirks while Matsukawa stifles back one of his own but failing to. “Good. Because your boyfriend over there thinks he can beat my Ushiwaka impression tonight. I’m the reigning champion of Ushiwaka voices!” he claims proudly, punching the air to show off his title.

Sugawara joins back in on the fun and laughs, and Oikawa can’t miss the subtle tone of mischief behind it. That’s when he knows things are about to get serious.

“We’ll see about that next time, Iwa-chan,” Suga replies. The challenge has been proposed.

Oikawa laughs suddenly, folding his arms over his stomach to stop from toppling over. Suga, Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa are now looking at him with confused looks on their faces.

“Oi, Assikawa, what’s so funny?” Iwaizumi begins to interrogate. At least he doesn’t look ticked off. Yet.

“Nothing, nothing! I’m just wondering why I was so worried about it in the first place,” Oikawa admits when he’s able to calm down enough.

“Because you make a big deal out of everything,” Iwaizumi supplies an answer, and Oikawa glares at him. Matsukawa is nodding in approval.

“Rude. Anyway, the fact that you’re all poking fun Ushiwaka like this, while I’m over here letting his stupid words bother me again… I really should be learning from you guys.”

Now the three of them appear surprised at his honesty. Oikawa looks from Iwaizumi, to Matsukawa, then to Sugawara. When his eyes land on Suga, he finally reacts and leans in to bestow Oikawa’s cheek with a kiss. He can feel his skin flush red once he pulls back to flash his trademark grin.

“It’s alright, Tou-chan,” Sugawara responds. “It’s easier said than done, and we all understand why Ushiwaka bothered you again. But there’s nothing wrong with having a little more pride than others, especially in your abilities and your decisions.”

Oikawa blinks, then shifts his attention to Hajime and Issei, who are both nodding in agreement.

“You must’ve had a lot of pride in your team, too. You were confident they would be able to pull off the winning spike with your toss, right?” Matsukawa adds on.

“That’s definitely not worthless pride, if you ask us,” Sugawara says.

“You think too much, Trashykawa. Be proud that you helped your team win,” Hajime follows up. “It’s not like doing that was the reason why your ACL tore, so there’s nothing to feel frustrated over. That’s just your body doing what bodies do when something off happens.”

“That’s a very doctor-like way to say that, Iwa-chan. I’m surprised you didn’t get accepted into medical school already!” Oikawa taunts. _Now_ Iwaizumi looks ticked off, and Oikawa automatically brings his hands up as if getting ready to block a fist aimed for his face.

His three friends are right, though. There was no way he would have been able to foresee a damaged ligament during that play when all he could worry about was the timing of the ball’s toss. When all he could see was the spin of gold and blue coming into focus, positioning his hands at the point of its trajectory where it would land perfectly on the tips of his fingers.

_It has to be perfect. If the timing is off by one tempo, we’ll lose the point._

Those same colors flash into view for a millisecond. His eyes grow wide, but too soon is he brought back to the living room of his apartment. Koushi seems to notice that Oikawa’s attention has been directed to something that wasn’t in this space, because Oikawa feels his hand squeezing his shoulder and hears him say his name quietly.

“Sorry, everyone. I, um—thanks,” Oikawa says, ducking his head away in embarrassment.

“Stop being so polite, Shittykawa. It’s scaring Mattsun.”

Oikawa looks at his best friend’s boyfriend, who doesn’t look scared in the least.

“Very funny, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa retorts. “Surprised that I know how to genuinely thank people?”

“I am,” Hajime states blatantly, and Oikawa pouts.

“Oh, by the way,” Matsukawa interrupts. “Hanamaki texted me the other day asking when we should meet up again. It’s your turn to come and visit us in Tokyo.”

“I knoooow, Mattsun. It’s just really hard to find a time ‘cause Makki seems to have an exam _every. Single. Week._ What kind of college does that to their students?”

“What kind of college _doesn’t_ do that to their students, Tou-chan?” Sugawara asks.

While Oikawa has been able to keep in touch with Iwaizumi and Matsukawa often since the year started, it was harder to do so with Hanamaki as he went to a different school in Tokyo and had a packed schedule from dawn until dusk. Already a poor texter to start with, it didn’t help that his regular study routine further limited his chances to message Oikawa back. Though, for some reason, Hanamaki seemed to reply to Matsukawa and Iwaizumi in a timely fashion. Interesting.

“But nobody told Makki to take the maximum number of credits this semester,” Oikawa says. “We’re overdue for a reunion and we haven’t video called him in months.”

“What about this weekend?” Hajime asks. “We only have practice.”

“Can’t! I’m going in to model for my first time tomorrow!” he says in that singsongy tone that he knows irritates Iwaizumi, but he doesn’t let that stop him.

“Great,” Hajime deadpans. “I expect to see your face _all_ over Tokyo on Monday.”

Hearing Matsukawa snicker, Oikawa lets out a huff. “Rude, Iwa-chan, Mattsun. Why are you both so mean to me all of a sudden?”

“Glad you’re feeling better, Oikawa,” Matsukawa says with a genuine smile. Oikawa can’t hold back a smile of his own, even with the fond teasing that his best friends were quick to switch back to. He does feel better after talking to the three of them.

“I swear, if I have to see your face blown up on billboards... What have I done to deserve this?” Iwaizumi complains, clearly loud and dramatic enough for Oikawa to hear.

“It’s because we’re best friends and our bond is like this.” Oikawa holds up a peace sign, moving his fingers together then apart to resemble said bond.

“Suga, please punch Assikawa for me right now.”

Sugawara does exactly that, with a force equally as painful as Iwaizumi’s punches.

“Damn, babe. You sure you didn’t switch fists with Iwa-chan just now?”

Hajime and Koushi both smirk at the same time.

“Tough love makes people tougher,” Sugawara assures.

Oikawa releases a heavy sigh while rubbing where Sugawara punched him. Then he looks at his boyfriend, whose eyes are now soft with affection. Next to Iwaizumi, who shines a mischievous and sharp grin. Last but certainly not least, to Matsukawa, who wears his usual composed smile. A swell of pride for his three companions pushes against his chest. To him, it does not feel worthless at all.

“I can’t argue with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tamago gohan is japanese egg rice!! which honestly sounds really good right about now…
> 
> and lbr, the real reason why makki never texts oikawa back is because all oikawa does is send him cute dog pics and super extra emojis


End file.
